Infernal Game
by Fangorn
Summary: Ranma & AMS crossover. Mara has a new mission and she'll start in Nerima... life won't be the same for the NWC.
1. IG01

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, its characters and concepts belong to Rumiko Takahashi and those enterprises to whom she has given publishing rights. Ah! Megami-sama, its characters and concepts belong to Fujishima Kosuke and those enterprises to whom such rights were given. This work does not intend to infringe upon those rights, nor is it intended for commercial use.

* * *

Infernal Game

Chapter 1

"Pigtailed girl! Come to my arms and let us declare our love!" declared the 'Blue Thunder' in a rare day he managed to surprise the pseudo girl and embrace her from behind. Ranma reacted as expected, breaking the embrace and kicking the kendoist into geo-stationary orbit. She was in a very bad mood today, just sending him into low earth orbit wouldn't cut it.

"GET A GRIP MORON!" she screamed to the clueless martial artist before he disappeared into the atmosphere.

---

Shampoo was making a large delivery, running her bike on the top of walls and fences like it was the easiest thing in the world. She wasn't showing off, as certain people believed; she was just trying her hardest to avoid one of the worst effects of being cursed by Jusenkyou.

Being a water magnet.

And yet she had to return to the normal walking level to handle the ramen and pick up the money, a moment of vulnerability she learned to hate with good reason.

Jusenkyou struck again.

Just behind her a couple of small kids were dueling with water pistols. They were so distracted by their game that they didn't even see the amazon become collateral damage and disappear, leaving just her clothes as proof she had been there, nor did they see the evil gaze a small cat with purple socks was giving them.

---

Ryouga stood before a town's gate. By the look of the town ahead, he has just arrived in Nagoya, probably breaking the world record for walking from Nagoya to Kobe. A true feat of stamina considering the weight of his gear. 

Was he receiving any praise? Was there a reception committee?

No, of course not. People only cared about the fact that he was trying to reach Tokyo and not Nagoya. Should anyone know they would be laughing at the poor lost boy, but never in front of him. That would be very dangerous and the only person who did that was Ranma.

Ryouga gritted his teeth. 'Ranma, you are going down this time!' he swore mentally, bracing his heavy backpack and returning to the road.

---

Ukyou was having a very good day. Until she saw a trash can move by the corner of her eye, that is.

Moving trash cans could mean only one thing – Tsubasa.

Grabbing her titanic spatula she prepared to beat the living daylights out of that metallic bin.

Why couldn't the strange boy leave her alone?

---

"Shampoo, would you like to go on a date with me?" asked the almost blind amazon.

Cologne shook her head in disgust and used her feared pogo stick against the boy's head. 

"I said it before and I'll say it again, Mousse. _Leave the plants alone and go back to work_!"

The boy mumbled something inaudible and returned to the kitchen.

---

"Today," swore the youngest Tendou to the heavens in a maniac tone, "today I'll cook something nice!" 

Had Ranma been present he would have added "or kill trying". Unfortunately for the kitchen he wasn't and soon the place was looking like a domestic representation of 'Guernica' that would have made Picasso proud.

Kasumi was off running some errands and every single member of the household had similar excuses for their absences, although she only believed Kasumi's. 'The jerks,' she thought. Without any guinea pigs, err, volunteers available, Akane decided to try her latest culinary invention herself.

The Kami were merciful this time and the girl promptly fainted. 

Small wonder the chem club worshipped her.

---

That night they were sulking. Unaware of each other they all wondered aloud at precisely the same moment.

"This sucks. I wish I could get rid of my problems."

To their immense regret, someone heard their words.

---

Mara was very content.

The demoness first class was in charge of a new mission: hell's answer to the goddess relief office, more specifically. If the heavens were awarding mortals wishes, so would they, but in their own tortuous way. The idea was really simple, just pick a group of mortals, pool them together, and have them remove their own fears, inefficiencies, problems or weakness from themselves... and have those difficulties among the other mortals. A problem is never too great unless you're the one suffering from it, right?

'This will be interesting,' thought the demoness. 'I can't wait to see them squirming in their new predicaments.' Picking up her schedule from her desk, she decided on a location to start her new job. 

'Nerima... ah, yes, I've heard about this place,' a smirk grew on her lips. 'Most interesting indeed!'

---

"Ranma, this is your fault!" yelled a young girl with short, dark bluish hair, as she sprinted along the street. "We are going to be late again!"

"Not my fault, Akane!" protested another young girl, whose bright red hair was braided in a pigtail, running on the top of a steel fence. "What can I do if my stupid old man used all the hot water in the kettle and I had to wait for Kasumi to heat more? I don't want to hold those stupid buckets either, ya know?"

"Why bother changing back when you can't even avoid the only woman in Nerima who's actually older than Cologne?" retorted Akane. "What kind of martial artist can't avoid an old lady and her ladle?"

"The kind that is _way _better than you are, you uncute tomboy!"

The girl moving on the ground just growled in frustration. "Baka! Shut up and run!"

But their run was quickly interrupted. A very attractive woman was just sitting in the steel fence, showing off her long and luscious legs. Ranma was forced to return to ground level, but both stopped when the woman spoke. 

"Tendou Akane and Saotome Ranma... how fortunate to find the two of you together," said the demoness, carefully studying the pair. "That will save me some work."

"Ranma, do you know her?" asked the youngest Tendou, gritting her teeth. 'If she's another fiancée, Ranma, you're _so_ going to die.'

"No, I don't think so," she answered, completely oblivious to her fiancée's distress. 

"Oh, you don't know me," Mara said with a large smile that caused the pair's danger sense to spark wildly. "But soon you will." Before they could react her symbols of power flared into life and the trio vanished from the streets of Nerima.

---

Ranma and Akane weren't the only Furinkan students running late that morning. Ukyou was so late that she decided to drop the idea of actually making it to the first period. Her restaurant was unusually full and the breakfast crowd was just voracious. She could have closed it earlier, but that would be a very bad business decision. Nothing was important as having satisfied customers – turning them down was just an invitation not to come back again and Ukyou's Ucchan wasn't successful enough to refuse clients. Besides, first class today was English and with Hinako-sensei as teacher, chances were very good she wouldn't lose anything important. 

Bucket duty was much easier to withstand with a full wallet and she could even luck out and have Ranma for company. With those thoughts she was closing the restaurant's door when she noticed someone coming. 

"Sorry, we're closing until lunch. Please come back then!" she said in a cheerful voice without bothering to turn her head.

"Good," said a woman in a sultry voice. "We wouldn't want to have your place sacked while you are away, would we?"

"I beg your pardon?" asked Ukyou finally facing the woman. 'She's pretty,' thought the chef. 'She could easily beat Hinako-sensei in her adult body.'

"Oh, you'll be begging for much more than just my pardon before the day's over, Ukyou," answered the demoness in an equally cheerful tone. Before Ukyou could reach for her giant spatula to face the unexpected threat something in the woman's face began to spark and darkness engulfed her.

---

'Three down, three more to go,' thought the demoness, standing in the front of the Cat Café. 'I think I'll find the two of the others here.'

She knocked on the restaurant's door. It was quite early for it to be open but the noise alone told Mara that her victims must be near.

"We are closed," a masculine voice came from behind the door. "We won't open for another two hours."

"Mousse? But I'm here to see you..." she pleaded in a husky voice.

Quickly the door opened and the demoness was greeted by a tall young man with long white robes. "How may I help you, miss?" asked Mousse, not quite looking at the surprise guest.

"Don't you want to see me, Mousse?" she teased. To her satisfaction the young amazon gasped soundly when he lowered his glasses and looked at her eyes.

From inside the restaurant another voice came, a female one this time.

"Mousse, who is on door?"

"It's for me, Shampoo!"

"For you?" asked the puzzled amazon. She couldn't remember the last time Mousse had a visit or even if that had ever happened before. But for a part-time cat Shampoo wasn't very curious and she returned her attention to the huge pile of dishes in front of her.

"Ah, but I'm here to see you too, Shampoo," said the person at the door.

'Who could be visiting?' wondered the amazon. Her surprise grew tenfold when she saw the strange and extremely beautiful woman standing by the door and looking at Mousse with a cat-that-caught-the-canary grin. She was obviously a foreigner and she had very strange markings on her face. "Yes, what can Shampoo do?"

"Why, you two can come with me."

"HONORED ANCESTORS!" shouted the matriarch of the Joketsuzoku from the top of the stairs, startling the young amazons. Cologne had felt a very odd presence from her room, one she hadn't felt in many years and couldn't properly identify, so she decided to investigate. As soon as she laid her eyes on the guest, Mara's figure told her everything she needed to know.

Mara just touched the pair on the shoulder, who were both still starring at the pale face of the matriarch. "Bye, bye," said the demoness to the Joketsuzoku elder, and they were gone.

Cologne fell on her knees, a much more painful experience from atop a pogo stick. For the first time in several decades fear froze Cologne's heart and she was at a loss. "A demon, and high-ranking one, came for my great-granddaughter and poor Mousse," she babbled. "What am I going to do?"

---

"One more player and we can start our little game," Mara said to no one in particular in an extremely dark room, obtaining only muffled sounds as reply. "Be dears and try to relax. I'll be back in no time."

She teleported to an open field with a large path of woods and a high mountain just ahead of her position. Mara didn't want to use the teleport spell to an unknown place, but that was her best hope to find the lost boy, the focus of the spell. Even in normal conditions a teleport could be quite disorienting and going from a dark room to broad daylight didn't help either. Another problem for teleporters is that they never know what will be behind them, be it demon hunters, meddling goddesses or screaming martial artists.

"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW?"

Mara nearly jumped out of her skin. She really hated to teleport like that.

"Excuse me, miss," said Ryouga, not quite sure how the woman appeared out of nowhere, but unwilling to let the opportunity to ask for directions slide. It had been quite some time since he'd seen another person. "Do you know the way to Nerima Ward?"

Mara took her time to collect her thoughts and lower her blood pressure. The person talking to her could be no other than Hibiki Ryouga.

Before answering the demoness walked three steps in the boy's direction, entering his personal space and disabling several of his higher brain functions.

"Nerima Ward?" she purred. "You want to see Akane, don't you?"

With the beautiful woman just inches away of him, all the shy boy managed to do was scratch the back of his head and nod.

"Ah, but I can bring you to where Akane is right now," she continued teasing Ryouga, caressing his cheeks with her sleek fingers. Ryouga's brain was reduced to mush and he was on the verge of severe blood loss. "And then we can all play a nice game. Would you like that, hmm?"

Ryouga nodded again. "Good," replied the demoness. "Off we go."

---

Ukyou was firmly tied to a chair and totally unable to speak. That scared her, because she wasn't gagged or something akin, she just wasn't capable of speech. She couldn't figure out who would want to kidnap her or why, either. 'I thought this kind of thing only happened to Akane.' She was straining her bonds again but all her attempts had proved to be futile. By the sounds she was hearing she wasn't the only one in this condition.

Suddenly several lamps were lit, illuminating the room. After a painful instant her eyes grew used to the new brightness and she saw other people.

Standing in the middle of the room was the strange woman who had somehow captured her effortlessly. And in the five other corners she could see the rest of the Nerima Wrecking Crew, similarly tied in chairs and looking as surprised as she was. 'That's bad,' she pondered. 'She's good enough to capture all of us. Who's going to come rescue us?' 

Ranma in his uncursed body was sitting to her left and Ryouga was in her right, with Mousse in the other extremity of the room. Akane was between Mousse and Ryouga and Shampoo was between Ranma and Mousse. With a feeling of dread she realized that she was positioned in the vertex of a hexagram. 'A demonic cultist!' she shuddered. 'I'm too young to die!'

Her thoughts of impending doom were interrupted when her captor picked up a microphone and began to speak.

"Hello my dear mortals. I'm Mara, Demoness First Class, and I'll be your hostess for our little game today. You've all been selected because you wished your problems would go away. Beware what you wish for, because hell may decide to grant your request."

Again, the only answers she received were muffled sounds.

"Ah, yes," she said, snapping her fingers, "you may speak now."

"WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS!?" Ryouga bellowed.

"Yeah, ya don't expect us to believe that crap!" contributed Ranma.

Still smiling, Mara closed her eyes. When she opened her eyes again they were shining bright red. The small demonstration was more than enough to silence them.

"Ahem, like I said," continued the demoness, "I'll be your hostess. The game's rules are pretty simple. All you have to do is pick two defects, problems or fears from yourselves that you want to be removed. They can be anything, even a Jusenkyou curse. Then we'll sort them among our other players. Isn't it exciting?"

The adolescents just stared at the demoness in utter disbelief. They couldn't quite believe what they were hearing.

"You just have to write two such characteristics you want to lose, one on each of the cards that are in your laps."

After a long moment where no one dared to even breathe, Ranma exploded.

"I ain't writin' nothin'!" he yelled. "You can't force me."

"Airen right! Shampoo no write too!

"Yeah! Make me, sugar!"

Without showing any trace of irritation the demoness snapped her fingers again. "Ah, sweet silence. Now, now, Ukyou, that's an excellent idea. I think I'll do that. What about wishing away your cooking ability? Perhaps Akane will like it better." Unconsciously Ranma nodded, causing the youngest Tendou to fume. Luckily for Ranma she was tied and unable to speak.

"And you, Ranma. Perhaps I'll remove your martial arts skill. It causes you so much trouble, all those fights. I think you'd be better off without it, don't you agree?"

Ranma paled visibly and vigorously shook his head. That was probably his worst nightmare.

"And you Shampoo," she purred, closing the distance that separated them swiftly. "What can I do for you?" she asked as she waved her fingers through the amazon's long purple locks. "Hmm... your exquisite hair, maybe? You must hate all those people looking at you, curious to know if it's natural or not. No? Then you'll write something, right? Good girl."

Returning to the center of the room the demoness resumed her speech.

"Don't look at me like that," she said in mock-hurt. "I'm nowhere as bad as you think I am. I could have brought the Kunous to play too, you know," she pointed out. There was an important lesson to be learnt here, notably: when dealing with infernal forces – no matter how bad a situation seemed, there was always a possibility it could become worse. The young kids shuddered at the thought of receiving some of the qualities that distinguished the Kunous, to the delight of the demoness.

"Now that you know what will happen if you don't play along, I can finish explaining the rules. After you write down what you want to leave behind, one of you will choose a card. If you pick one of your own we'll shuffle the deck and start again, so you don't have to worry about receiving what you wrote. We'll keep going until we run out of cards. It's very simple!"

"You can move your arms now," she said as she snapped her fingers a third time. The ropes holding their arms slid down, but they were still being held by their legs. "You have fifteen minutes to write your wishes. Hurry up or I'll write them down myself and I'm sure you don't want that to happen."

Mousse was the first one to finish the task, having made his two choices in less than a minute. As soon as he put the pen down Mara collected the cards and read them.

"So soon Mousse?" she asked in the playful voice they all hated already. "Ah, you naughty boy, you shouldn't have written that!"

The words were lost on the amazon, however. He had a very silly smile in his face and his glasses were almost fogging up. You didn't need to be telepathic to know what he must be thinking.

'Never be a blind duck again! Never be a blind duck again! Never be a blind duck again! Never be a blind duck again! Never be a blind duck again! Never be a blind duck again!'

Ranma glared at the duck boy as he repeated his new mantra, wishing he could kill him with the power of his mind alone. As dense as Ranma could be he was well capable of guessing what Mousse had written.

'The jerk! What if I end bein' blind as he is? Or what if Akane ends bein' a duck for real this time? Or me, how will my curse react to his? I'll end a female duck, or what? Oh, I know what I will write down.' The smirk he was well know for crept back onto his face as he mentally pictured a female Mousse, or even better, a female Ryouga. 'That would be just priceless! He always said my curse was nothing! Wait until Kunou hits on him.' He would have laughed if he were able to.

Ranma didn't have a good idea about what to write in his second card and decided to guess what the others would select. To anticipate an enemy's next move was crucial in martial arts and Ranma was sure this applied to such situations as well. Ryouga's picks were as obvious as Mousse's but he had no idea what Ukyou would choose. 'Akane will probably ask to be able to cook or swim. I don't think she don't wanna be a tomboy,' he concluded. 'Now Shampoo,' he froze at the thought. 'She'll wish her curse off! I can't become a c-c-c-cat, I'll go nuts for sure!'. As much as he hated losing a technique so powerful, the Nekoken had to go.

Mara was upon him in an instant and laughed hard when she saw what the boy had chosen. "Interesting wording, Saotome, very interesting."

He dismissed the demoness words as bait and returned to study the others' reactions.

Ukyou was sulking. Along with Akane they were the only ones not cursed by Jusenkyou's waters, even if she thought Ryouga wasn't cursed either. 'This ain't fair,' she thought. 'I can't even think about something to write and I'll probably end up cursed. Gah, Akane may even transmit her cooking skills to me. I'll be ruined!' She was considering writing silly things just to be done with it when the demoness whispered in her ear.

"I know what you are thinking," she said. "Do you think Ranma will have a cute fiancée that makes him lose his mind when splashed with cold water? Do you really want to take a chance? Choose wisely."

She left Ukyou alone to her thoughts and went to pick Ryouga's cards.

Ryouga took the same time as Mousse to decide what to write, but he was just too nervous to stop trembling. Only when he was sure his penmanship wouldn't resemble Happousai's did he write down his two curses, the family one and Jusenkyou's. He could imagine a Ranma without a navigational sense whatsoever. 'That's perfect! If he gets it he won't be around Akane so much and I will! No more P-chan! No more pork cracks! Oh Akane...'

And yet a small part of his mind was nagging him, and the feeling he did something wrong was growing since the demoness took the cards from him without a single comment. His blissful aspect broke apart when he realized that someone else would get the Heituenniichuan's curse and Akane would finally discover the secret identity of her pet pig. Worse, Akane herself might end being cursed!

'I must get those cards back!' he thought desperately, and he tried to break free of his bindings with all of his might.

Mara was thoroughly enjoying watching the young boy vainly struggle against the magical rope that tied down her players.

"_Tut_, _tut_, Ryouga," she said. "It's futile. You can't escape from these ropes; they are stronger than a steel cable. But why are you so nervous now? You want to write something different?" 

Ryouga shook his head so quickly that Mara thought his neck might break from the stress. She waited a second that seemed like an eternity to the soon-no-longer-lost boy, feigning consideration of his plea, before replying.

"I like those. I think I'll keep them," she finally answered, to the boy's desperation.

'I think it's a good time to get lost for a long time,' he wished. 'Oh, I can't do that anymore.' Ryouga just sunk in his chair. Time to pay the Deepest Dungeon of Despair another visit.

Shampoo was having a hard time deciding her second pick. The first was obvious and she was very happy to get rid of her cat curse, not only for herself, but for Airen as well. She knew well how her curse hampered her chances with the pigtailed boy.

'Shampoo no know what to pick! What Shampoo need if Shampoo have too too perfect body? Nothing to write,' she pondered, until she perceived she was thinking in Japanese again. Broken Japanese. Badly broken Japanese. 

With a grin she wrote on her last card. The Kami knew how long she'd tried to learn this stupid language but no matter how hard she'd tried she only made very little progress. 'Even Mousse learn in no time,' she thought. She hated when people mocked her speech, concluded she was stupid because of her grip on the language or worse, impersonated her. No one would laugh now.

Akane had a bunch of possible ideas about what to write. Any kind of restraint she might have shown was thrown out the window by Mousse's actions. He'd made his own choices obvious to everyone, after all. While cooking and swimming were both good picks, she decided to do some deeper soul searching. Besides, she really didn't want to risk giving her culinary skills to Ukyou. The girl depended on them for a living and besides, out of all the other girls after Ranma, Ukyou was the one Akane related to and thought of as a friend, strange as that might seem. Also, she remembered very well what had happened the last time Ukyou dropped her restaurant and joined the freeloader squad at Tendo-ke. 

She settled for one of her characteristics, one that was hindering her in almost everything she did, from the Art to cooking and even acting. Her short fuse (or no fuse according to Ranma) always caused her problems, made her act on the spur of the moment without any consideration for the consequences, jump to conclusions and act before having all the facts, among other things. She would repent from time to time, but it was so much easier to be angry, as if her anger excused her behavior. Sometimes it even made her feel like a passenger inside her own body, just a vehicle for her strong emotions. 'I hope Ryouga will get this. He has a bad temper already, so I don't think he'll even notice it. I wonder what he will choose... perhaps his shyness. He wouldn't transmit his sense of direction, would he? Ranma will finally be rid of his girl side, he must be enjoying this... when did he change back anyway?' she mused briefly before returning to the more pressing task.

Swimming was not related to her temperament or so she believed, and she loved the only time she did manage to enter the ocean without nearly drowning with the aid of a magical swimsuit. From all the pain and suffering about to be redistributed among them it didn't seem very important and so she took that. The demoness quickly grabbed her cards and the only person still considering was Ukyou.

The okonomiyaki chef was getting nervous. She was the last one and everyone was looking at her. 'Like the time pressure isn't enough,' she complained inwardly. 'Gah! What to do? I don't want that monster to make my choices!'

Inspiration struck suddenly. It was something she was keeping a secret, but it wouldn't be her problem anymore so she decided on it. Her own cross-dressing habits, product of her oath of revenge against the Saotomes, had attracted a fair number of male cross-dressers, who just expected her to love them since they shared the same 'hobby'. Like she was doing it because she liked it! Tsubasa was the only one, praised be all the Kami, after her with the obsession that characterized the Neriman martial artists. 'Perhaps he will leave me in peace now!' she thought as she wrote 'cross-dresser magnet' on the small sheet of paper. With a tinge of guilt she wondered if that would affect her relationship with Konatsu. She didn't love the meek ninja but she honestly enjoyed their friendship and wanted it to remain as it was.

Looking around to find something that might help her, she let her eyes linger on the pigtailed boy. 'Ranchan,' she thought dreamily, and her second choice became obvious. Her hatred for the boy's sorry excuse of a father, that asshole that had left her behind all those years ago, was enormous. 'What kind of man steals and then leaves a six year old on the middle of the road? And look at all the damage the bastard did to Ranma, his own son!' 

But Ranma always forgave his father, no matter how much pain he caused. It was just his nature. The fact that the lazy panda was still alive was proof enough of how much Ranma loved him.

Kuonji Ukyou, on the other hand, wasn't capable of such a feat. Perhaps it was the way she was; perhaps she spent too many years of her life training to avenge her family's honor, slowly gathering the kind of anger necessary to apply a 'three year smiling death', but she couldn't just pretend it hadn't happened! She couldn't just forget it!

And she knew Ranma wouldn't leave her father behind like Genma did to her. 'I'm just like Ryouga in this aspect and Ranchan's closer to Akane,' she thought bitterly.

'Let your anger go' was a counsel she heard a lot, especially on the rare occasions she told people of her promise of revenge. She decided to do that literally. She handed the demoness the cards and braced herself for the worst. 

Mara shuffled the small deck of cards that were glowing in her hands. She picked up a cubic like object the size of a soccer ball from a box. "Everything set? Shall we play?"

* * *

Author's notes: As strange as it may seem, this story is based on a cold war intelligence exercise. The exercise was based on the capture by the police of two thieves. The police, however, lacked evidence to arrest the pair for good and decided to put the thieves in two separated cells and offer each one a deal, to incriminate the other. To sweeten the deal they offered, besides immunity, a large money prize. The catch was, if both of them accepted the deal, both would end up behind bars without any cash.

While the right thing to do is to refuse the deal and walk free, there's always the possibility that the other partner may become greedy and accept the deal. Such is the dilemma faced by the Ranma 1/2 crew and, quite frankly, I don't think they trust each other that much. 

It is also based on how we perceive our own problems and the problems of the people that surround us. It is usual to overestimate the formers while underestimating the latters. Such is human nature.

Please review my story, it is greatly appreciated.

If anyone is interested in pre-reading this story, drop me an email, I surely could use some more.

And speaking of pre-readers, I must offer my special thanks to Kiririn-san for the extraordinary work done revising this story so far, above and beyond the call of duty. Doumo arigatou gozaimasu!

By Fangorn (1-VIII-2003)

fangorn_ff@terra.com.br


	2. IG02

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, its characters and concepts belong to Rumiko Takahashi and those enterprises to whom she has given publishing rights. Ah! Megami-sama, its characters and concepts belong to Fujishima Kosuke and those enterprises to whom such rights were given. This work does not intend to infringe upon those rights, nor is it intended for commercial use.

* * *

Infernal Game

Chapter 2

  


  


Mara shuffled the small deck of cards that began to glow in her hands. She picked up a cubic like object of the size of a soccer ball from a box. "Everything set? Shall we play?"

The object turned out to be an oversized die, but instead of numbers or small holes the die's sides contained a chibi version of each unwilling player.

"Ah, I was almost forgetting. Your new qualities will only begin to appear upon your return to Nerima and you'll have to figure them out by yourselves. Some will be quite easy to discover but others won't. I'll start the game," and with that the demoness threw the die.

The players held their breath as the huge die rolled around. They were martial artists, even if their level of skill and commitment to the Art varied significantly, and therefore more used to be acting instead of being helpless spectators, especially when their own future was being shaped in front of them.

Slowly the die stopped spinning and the first unlucky member of the Nerima Wrecking Crew was no other than Hibiki Ryouga, who was sitting dejectedly on his chair and looking like he had just thrown a perfect Shi Shi Houkoudan on their heads.

The boy barely acknowledged the cards glowing in bright yellow that were fluctuating in front of him. Extending his hand he picked one and returned to his sulking.

Mousse was next but whatever deity the nearsighted amazon worshipped, besides Shampoo, of course, was probably looking out for him at that moment and when he touched the card it became red.

"Ah, a lucky one. That was one of your own cards, Mousse," pointed out the demoness. "Here, you throw the die this time." The amazon's luck streak continued and his nemesis was chosen next. Mousse couldn't help but grin.

'Damn the stupid duck,' thought the pigtailed boy as he glared at the amazon, along with the fiancée brigade. Having placed his glasses on the top of his head, Mousse was quite oblivious to the visual assault.

Cautiously he grabbed one of the levitating cards and to his horror it didn't turn red.

Ranma settled for the best way of taking revenge against Mousse. Waving his arms in a clear message to the demoness, he asked for the die. Mara quickly complied, a clear sign that he shouldn't be doing it, but caution had been thrown out the window some time ago. When the die ceased moving the chibi draw of Ukyou was on top. 

Ranma looked sheepishly at his oldest friend, trying his best to make a wordless apology.

'It's not like it's his fault, anyway,' concluded the chef, shrugging her shoulders and showing her fiancé that it didn't matter. 'I'm not like Ryouga to blame him for everything wrong in my live.' She didn't take one of her own problems, but she did take the die from the demoness' hands. It was, after all, a small measure of control in this strange situation.

She changed her mind when she ended cursing herself a second time in a row and again Lady Luck didn't grace her with a red card.

Mara picked the die and when Ukyou refused to throw it again and made the roll herself. Akane was next and despite her name she got a yellow one.

Fuming from it, she demanded the die and tried to hit the demoness right in the head. Mara was ready for it and just dodged the improvised projectile. Ranma wasn't and the die bounced on his head before holding still with Shampoo's caricature. 

'Take that Bimbo,' Akane mouthed to Shampoo, who was too far away to understand the words, but close enough to realize the meaning. She caught somebody else's card.

"We are halfway through the game now," said the demoness as she handed the die to Shampoo, "only six more cards to go." Before Mara finished speaking the cube was on the air and headed straight to Akane's chair. She jerked violently trying to avoid it, causing the chair's front legs to be in the air and when the die hit her the extra momentum was enough to make her fall. 

Mara didn't bother to raise Akane from the floor and just waved the cards in front of Mousse, who had been chosen again. He wasn't as lucky this time and ended with a yellow card. 

The game continued for a brief time, and everyone received another card, save Mousse who ended with just one. Ukyou was looking miserably having caught three.

"It has been a pleasure playing with you," Mara announced, waving goodbyes to them. "You are going back to where I caught you so you can all start your brand new lives! Be seeing you!"

The demoness snapped her fingers one last time and they were gone. 'Now comes the fun part,' she thought, getting ready to another 'little game'. 'Can't wait to watch what they will be doing.'

---

Cologne was franticly searching the tomes of lore she brought from the Joketsuzoku village, looking for something that could explain the events she had witnessed. Through the long story of their people they have interacted with a fair number of gods and demons, if the records were to be believed. However, the demoness behavior seemed quite gratuitous, unless the two adolescents were involved with things much more serious than their little antics with son-in-law and the rest of young fools around. 

She really doubted that. 

She was about to stop her research and go see if Ranma had disappeared was well, if only as confirmation, since something so strange was bound to involve him as well, when she heard some noises in the restaurant's main hall. She darted out her room with all the speed she could muster, discovering Shampoo and Mousse back, in the exact same places where she had last seen them. Shampoo was unconscious on the ground but Mousse was up, watching her great-granddaughter as if it was the first time he had laid his eyes on her. 

"Mousse? What have happened?" asked the elder, who was now examining the fallen amazon. "Mousse?" she repeated the question, before settling for a more blunt form to snap the boy out of his reverie.

Mousse stared at her with unusually alive eyes for an instant, before shouting a quick scream. He began to shudder.

'He must be in shock,' Cologne concluded, turning her attention to the boy, since Shampoo didn't seem to be in danger. "Mousse, what have happened," she asked slowly. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yes, I-I think I am," he replied, not quite sure of the answer himself and looking only at Shampoo's prostrated body.

"Can you fetch Toufuu-sensei? I want him to give my great-granddaughter a more careful examination. Was she really a demoness, Mousse?"

Mousse only nodded, doing his best to avoid eye contact.

"Mousse, do you think you could do that?" Again he nodded. "Then go quickly, Mousse. I'll bring her upstairs." But the boy stayed still. 

"Mousse!" she yelled, jumping at his face to get his attention. "GO!" And with a quick movement she opened the door and unceremoniously she pushed the teenager on the street.

"Good grace! The boy was almost out of it! But I think he'll manage to reach the doctor," she thought aloud. "And what does he mean with 'ignorance is bliss'?"

---

"So..."

"What now?"

Ranma and Akane were just looking at each other for the last couple of minutes, unsure of what to do.

Ranma breathed deeply. "First things first, we should check out if we have Jusenkyou curses.

"Y-yes, I think that's wise," Akane answered. "Let's get some water."

The canal was the nearest source of the universal solvent, but the steel fence separated them and jumping in it wasn't the more practical way of testing for curses.

"Akane, let's go to that bridge, there we can get some," he suggested.

"Hey, when did you change back? I was wondering..."

Ranma just shrugged. "No idea, when I got there I was already a guy, at least I think so. I don't remember bein' splashed with hot water. Com'on Akane, this is more important."

"Let's go then. No point in avoiding the inevitable."

"If we are cursed, then yes, there it ain't nothin' we can do to avoid water." 

"Did you pick your curse, Ranma?"

"Yeah, I did. Let's get moving!"

They reached the bridge quickly and there they found a bunch of plastic cups. Someone must had had a picnic by the river's bank and left a lot of discarded material behind. They filled an unused cup with river water each.

"So, on three we splash each other, okay?" asked Ranma, getting in position. "One, two, THREE!"

The jet of water forced Akane to blink and when she opened her eyes again Ranma was gone and his clothes were on the ground.

"Oh, Ranma, still cursed..." she said, torn between jumping in joy for being free of Jusenkyou's touch herself and being sad for her fiancé. Something inside Ranma's clothes began to move, trying to escape the silk prison of his chinese garment.

Akane was just too apprehensive to help Ranma out of his own clothes, so she waited. After an instant something small and black began to appear from the collar of the long sleeved red shirt. 

---

"SHI SHI HOUKOUDAN!"

It was the fourth chi blast Ryouga called forth from the depths of his soul in rapid succession, scarring the ground around him even more. The boy was standing in the center of a hole already several feet deep and the soil was looking like tightly compressed. 

The fourth blast finally took all the depression out of his system. Whatever the rope that tied him to that chair was made of, it was both extremely resistant and somehow stopped him from using depression to fuel his favorite chi projection technique. The 'Lion's Roar Shot' was more than just that, it was also an important escape valve for the often depressed boy. He paid the price for such dependency when was forced to cope with his feelings the standard way.

Ryouga collapsed on the dirt with a small smile on his lips. Finally he would savor the sweetness of oblivion, at least for a little while.

---

Ukyou was back on the door of her restaurant, which was now open. The already disoriented chef couldn't understand it. When she had left she had closed the door and no one else had the key. She stepped in.

"Ukyou-sama! Are you okay?" asked the worried Kunoichi from behind the grill. "Where have you been? I couldn't find you anywhere."

Still suffering from the effects of the teleport spell, all Ukyou could do was sit at one of the many empty tables.

"Here, Ukyou-sama, take a cup of water," offered Konatsu, joining his boss at the table.

The chef gladly accepted the water and slowly sipped it. "Sugar, what time now?"

"School will be out anytime now, Ukyou-sama. When you didn't show up to open the restaurant for lunch I, I broke in through a window. I apologize for my actions, Ukyou-sama," Konatsu pleaded.

"Is no problem, sugar, you did well," answered the chef. "You managed the lunch crowd all by self?"

"I did the best I could, but I can't cook as quick and well as you do, Ukyou-sama. The customers complained about your absence."

Ukyou nodded. The kunoichi was getting better by the day but he had problems cooking quickly. Facing the lunch crowd alone must have been an ordeal to her friend. "Can you handle the restaurant until night?" she asked, standing up and looking for something in the kitchen. "Ukyou no feel well today," she concluded, reappearing in the room with the kettle usually reserved for Ranma. 

"I'll try," answered a puzzled Konatsu, looking his boss going upstairs. 'What could have happened to Ukyou? Does she want to make some tea? And why is she speaking like that?' he briefly wondered before resuming his post in the grill. 

--- 

Ranma was not happy. He had hoped to be finally freed from the pools of sorrow. Instead, he was engulfed by his own clothes and discovered that silk wasn't the best fabric to escaped from when turning into something small. 

Now he had the same vulnerability that Shampoo, Mousse and Ryouga possessed before this day; he was just a splash away from being a terrific martial artist to turning into a cute, little and defenseless animal. He couldn't even see what he had become from inside the bizarre confinement. 'Man, if I've turned into a pig, Akane is going to rip me apart'. He was also eager to find out if his fiancée had the same luck he had had, so he redoubled his efforts.

After a minute he reached the collar of his shirt and bracing himself for the worst he ventured out of his lair.

"Ranma?" asked a very afraid Akane.

The question was lost on the boy, however. He thought he was ready for anything, but the vision in front of his eyes robbed the air from his lungs and for once Saotome Ranma reacted in a very intelligent and proper way, given the circumstances.

He fainted.

"Oh, Ranma, what we are going to do now?" she asked the fallen cat aloud. Akane was deadly scared, Ranma ended up receiving Shampoo's curse, but instead of being a white cat with purple socks, like Shampoo's cursed form, Neko-Ranma was a small black cat, with bright blue eyes. "Stupid Bimbo," she muttered, trying to reanimate the unconscious cat. 'Is he going into the Nekoken, or what? He has just become his own nightmare...' she thought, trying to figure a way to help him. 'Hot water! Sure, it worked before, it should work this time, too!' I think hot water will make him snap out of it!'

She quickly shoved his clothes into his bag and placed both on shoulder hold. Carefully she picked up the prostrate cat and started walking back home, where they would have the privacy they needed.

After a minute she began to smooth out the black cat's fur absent-mindedly. The hold was uncomfortable and something was pressing her breasts. She tried to adjust her bra, but it still bothered her. 'I think I'll need a bigger one,' she thought with a smile on her face.

--- 

Konatsu was right and school was out. Daisuki and Hiroshi were discussing the absence of Furinkan most famous students, namely Tatewaki, last seen two days ago, Ranma and his two fiancées, Akane and Ukyou, on their way home.

"What she said?" asked Daisuki.

"About Kunou? That he'd returned to his previous nickname."

"What!?" he deadpanned. "Man, I can't believe you keep spending yen with Nabiki, what kind of answer is this?"

"The cheapest one," the other boy answered with a grin.

"Do you remember Kuno's last nickname?"

"Hell if I know, I was hoping you would. I didn't want to spend more 100 yen with Nabiki."

The best source of information in Furinkan High School was, of course, Tendou Nabiki, suitably nicknamed 'The Ice Queen'. Prices were high, especially if the student's body was seeking it with the usual ardor, but always accurate. Anything regarding the local martial artists and their fights was always in high demand and everyone was sure that a good story would accompany the missing students, as usual. 

The price also varied accordingly with its clarity. The cheapest answer cost only one hundred yen but allowed Nabiki to delivery it in the most obscure way possible. The 'cryptic answer', as it was called, lured students that enjoyed playing mind games with the hope of beating Nabiki on her own turf as well as students that couldn't afford the more expensive replies. Some believed that Nabiki also enjoyed playing mind games, others believed that this was her sense of humor in action and finally there were those who believed it to be another of her evil schemes to attract curious students that would eventually give up trying to figure out what she had meant in the first place and would have to pay the full price to have peace of mind. As usually in cases like this, truth laid somewhere in between.

In the other extremity of the spectrum there was the 'Tatewaki answer'. No one knew for sure what made the 'Tatewaki answer' so hideously expensive, because the only student in Furinkan with enough money to even consider buying it was Kunou Tatewaki himself. Some conjectured that this answer was given in archaic speech, with substantial influence from Shakespeare's works and possibly in 5-7-5 syllables Haiku, but the majority thought the answer was delivered with several visual aids and with small words only. There were no argument about the fact that the chances of the delusional kendoist ever acquiring a clue relied on professional and extremely well paid help.

"What she said on Ranma and the girls?" 

"'The asset's value is under evaluation'... do you think she doesn't know?" Hiroshi questioned.

"Ha! I wouldn't bet on it! Haven't you heard the saying? 'If Nabiki doesn't know, it didn't happen!'"

Both boys laughed at that, even though some students actually trusted it.

"But I would bet there's a good story behind it. It always does!"

"Yeah, and it's always expensive to get it from Nabiki," replied Hiroshi, turning a corner and receiving the shock of his life.

"Hey dude, what's the matter?" asked Daisuki, wondering what caused his friend to stop so abruptly and star at someone open mouthed. Seeing he would receive no response from him, he tried to figure out what was the cause of his amazement, only to repeat the other's boy actions. 

A couple of minutes passed by before Hiroshi could speak again. 

"Say, isn't that..."

"Yes, it is."

"In a school..."

"Yep."

"Carrying a cat, for God's sake!"

"Think so."

"Man, what's next? Nabiki giving money away?"

"Kunou refusing to go on a date with Akane?"

"Happousai becoming a Shinto priest?"

"Good one! Hinako-sensei being a delinquent?"

"Happened already, pal."

"Ah, right, I forgot."

"Man, what it will be worth for Nabiki?"

"Heh, no doubt she was thinking about how much she would charge us. That's just priceless!"

"Yeah, life in Nerima is never boring."

---

Ukyou was trembling in her bathroom, a hand over the shower's faucet and a bucket with hot water ready for immediate use. As any businesswoman worth its salt Ukyou had a good mind when it came to numbers and she had already calculated the odds of receiving a cat or duck curse or worse, the odds of receiving both.

Being around Ranma so much gave her a good idea of the misery brought by the pools of sorrow to those afflicted. Again and again she saw her Ranchan being splashed, in the most strange circumstances and often in the worst possible moment, to the point of risking being forced to commit ritual suicide. Of course, almost everything in her beloved's life seemed to happen this way, but both Mousse and Shampoo agreed that their curses worked pretty much like that. To them, Jusenkyou was almost an sentient being.

It would be easier to dismiss the thought as foolishness if the other events involving the pigtailed boy weren't as strange. Still, the most unbelievable events never happened with her around, unless she was the one organizing it, like the Tunnel of Lost Love. Her first time left a sour taste on her mouth.

'Can't delay it any longer,' she sighed. With a jerk she opened the faucet and water started to wash over her body. An instant later the faucet was several feet above her.

"BWEEE!" 

---

'Why those perverts are staring at me like that?' thought Akane on her way home. 'Why Ranma put up with those guys? Sure, they were his best buddies in school, but the way they look at his female half. At least they never joined the hentai horde in the morning attacks after Kunou speech'.

It was a new feeling for Akane. She still despised the way they leered her during gym classes and hated even more the way they just gawked her a few minutes ago, but for the first time in many months she didn't feel the need to beat the hell out of them and she liked it so far. 

'No more 'urge to mallet rising'!' she thought happily.

She was three blocks away from home when she saw Mousse running full speed in her direction and looking very distressed. To her surprise he recognized her even without his glasses and stopped in front of her. Absently she held Ranma closer to her chest.

"Which way to Toufuu-sensei office?" he asked in an almost crazy fashion. 

"That way, Mousse," she answered, pointing out the direction he had come in the first place.

"Thanks for once, Saotome," and promptly he resumed his run in the opposite direction.

'Is he going crazy or what?' considered Akane. 'I thought he wouldn't recognize me without his glasses. I wonder why he's looking so desperate to reach the sensei. I was sure he knew to way, too. Oh well, at least he didn't cause any trouble.' 

---

"Where that blasted fool can be?" Cologne complained, holding Shampoo's hand at her bed. "He should have returned with the doctor already!"

At her snap Shampoo moaned. "Shampoo! Are you awake? What are you feeling?"

Slowly the lavender haired amazon opened her eyes. She wished she hadn't, it was just painful to do that. "Great-grandmother, I'm suffering from a terrible headache and my eyes are hurting."

"Rest still, child, I'll bring you some medicine."

Cologne descended the stairs to pick up a glass of water and an aspirin and so doing passed in front of the phone. Chastising herself for not thinking about calling the doctor before, she opened the small booklet that contained all the important numbers and quickly dialed his number.

"_Moshi moshi, Ono speaking._"

"Hello doctor, it's Cologne speaking from the Nekohanten. I've sent Mousse to bring you here. Has he showed up?" 

"_Hello Elder. No, I'm afraid I haven't seen Mousse. What's the matter?_"

"I need you to come here immediately to examine my great-granddaughter."

"_Shampoo? Is she alright? What have happened?_"

"I would rather not discuss the details over the phone, doctor. Suffice to say she's not in immediate danger but I don't want to move her needlessly."

"_I understand. I'm not attending any patients right now, so I'll be there in a couple of minutes._" 

"Thank you, doctor."

Still berating herself for having forgotten the telephone, she climbed up the stairs to join Shampoo.

"Here child, take an aspirin. Rest now, doctor Toufuu will soon be here."

Shampoo moaned again but gladly accepted the tablet. 

---

Ukyou couldn't believe this. She was ready to accept being a cat, or even a duck, but turning into a small black piglet was a complete surprise for her. 

'How is it possible?' the chef considered. 'No one has this kind of curse!' 

Buta-Ukyou was having a lot of trouble trying to reach the hot water. The bucket she had prepared was too high for her to jump in with her short legs. Had she become a cat or a duck, as she feared, getting splashed by the miraculous hot water would have been an easy feat. 

"BWEE!" she complained again. The indignity of it! Of all stupid pools to be cursed with this must be one of the worst! Loosing her cool, Ukyou made a short run and tried to jump inside the bucket. She didn't make it, but managed to hold on the border. Struggling to get inside, she caused the bucket to fall over her. 

The hot water was splashed all over the bathroom's floor, but enough fell on Ukyou to revert her to her normal body.

Still trembling, Ukyou began to towel, trying to get dry as fast as possible and mortally afraid to turn into a small piglet again. She entered her bedroom and closed the door, bolting it. 

Sitting down on her bed, she began to cry softly. 

---

"Tadaima!" exclaimed Akane, entering the living room of Tendo-ke. She wasn't looking forward to all the explanation she would have to do, but it would be near impossible to avoid confrontation when she was showing up with a cat. She didn't even have time to figure out what she had received from the infernal game.

If the living room was empty there were good chances she would be able to make a bee-line to the bathroom. Once she arrived there all she would have to do was throw Ranma in the tub and hope it would be enough to make him snap out of the Nekoken.

Unfortunately for her the living room was full and only Kasumi wasn't present. From the noises she was hearing, the eldest Tendou daughter was in the kitchen. She was expecting lots of question, but not the blank gaze she was receiving from his sister, or the incredulity on the face of his father and from Genma. They were looking at her like she was some kind of ghost or apparition.

"Oneechan, why are looking at me like that?" she asked her sister. Nabiki was usually extremely composed, imperturbable even, which made her face look even funnier. She had just spitted out a mouthful of green tea over the magazine she was reading and haven't make a single move to try to make her cover the damages.

Nabiki was, in fact, quite shocked. She might not be a mathematician, but her life evolved around constants and variables and how both interacted. The key for success, in her mind, was to rely on the constants as foundation and work with the variables in the more profitable way possible. It also important to keep an eye for the constants, since they could change, even if such changes were rare, and be sure that the variables never crystallize into constants that could compromise her positions. Constants could even change in great numbers at the same time, creating an instability that was both dangerous and attractive. Dangerous because the variables would interact with the new constants in unforeseen ways and attractive for the same reason, as it allowed the sharp of mind to maximize profit while the duller minds struggled to cope with the novelties. 

Unfortunately for Nabiki, the number of constants that have been broken was just too great to her to react accordingly and her brain called for all available power to try to understand the events that were occurring today, barely leaving enough to keep life support going.

First, Ranma and Akane didn't make to the school today. While strange, it wasn't something totally unexpected and without precedent. Ukyou was missing today, too, which might have been a coincidence, but given the new facts, Nabiki discarded the thought;

Second, Ranma just showed up in her cursed body. Again, not a surprise by itself, given the way the boy seemed to attract water and the preponderance of cold water over the hot specimen. The surprise consisted in the fact that she wasn't wearing her usual chinese clothing, but a Furinkan High School uniform and a female one at that. That was one of the constants going down. She never expected to see Ranma in an uniform. In fact, there could well be a pool on it. She would have made a mental note to check it later if she had brain power available for the task;

Third, _and most grave_, Ranma was not only holding, by her own freewill, a black cat, she was even petting the aforementioned feline! While keeping her sanity! This, of course, contradicted her previous behaviour when exposed to this particularly animal, which normally would send her to the brink of madness and sometimes over it;

Fourth, not satisfied in defying the beliefs Nabiki held dear, Ranma had the audacity of calling her 'oneechan'! In a normal day she would have mocked her, asking if the marriage date had been chosen or possibly charge her to keep the Freudian's slip secret. 

But now nothing could be dismissed so easily. Perhaps she had hit her head against a boulder again, or more probable, her sister had hit her with the large mallet. Perhaps the Nekoken has finally made her mind break and react like that. 

Too busy running simulation scenarios, Nabiki didn't perceive her older sister enter the room, gasp and then release a large tea-tray, which clattered soundly on the floor.

"Oh, my!" exclaimed the unflappable Tendou.

Akane decided she had enough and began to enter the core of the household. She would deal with them later. She knew how Ranma would react if the cat she was carrying wasn't him, but that was just ridiculous!

---

Shampoo was glad. The pain in her eyes was receding and she believe she would be able to open her eyes again in a short time. She heard someone knock on the door and waited a minute.

"Hello Shampoo, how are you doing today?" asked doctor Toufuu.

"Aiyah! Good morning, Toufuu-sensei. My eyes are bothering me and I can't see very well. I had a headache but I took an aspirin and the pain is almost gone," she answered her previous employer. The amazon had enjoyed working with the kind doctor and trusted him like no other outsider male, including Ranma.

The doctor raised an eyebrow at her first answer. "Shampoo, do you know it's over three in the afternoon?"

"I had no idea, doctor. I thought we were still in the morning."

"I see your command of the language has greatly improved, Shampoo."

It was the Joketsuzoku Elder's turn to raise an eyebrow. Only now she'd noticed her great-granddaughter was speaking in flawless Japanese.

"Yes, Shampoo, how this has come to pass?" Cologne asked, while the doctor examined the young amazon's eyes.

The doctor began to make several questions to Shampoo, which kept her from answering her great-grandmother until the end of the examination.

"She's in perfect health, elder, save for her eyes. I fear she has developed some degree of myopia, and she'll have to consult an ophthalmologist to determine it accurately. That's probably the cause of her headache. If you don't mind, I would like to know why you've called me here so suddenly. It doesn't seem an emergency to me."

"She was kidnapped today by a demonical entity, doctor."

"Great-grandmother is right, sensei."

"Oh," exclaimed the surprised chiropractor. Nerima was a strange place at times but this easily took the cake. "Do you think there's a relation?"

Cologne looked curiously at her great-granddaughter, that was a question she wanted answered herself.

Shampoo looked away, more on habit than to avoid looking at them directly at their faces. She had problems even to discern the blurs in front of her and only the sound of their voices allowed her to identify who she was speaking to.

She explained how she was abducted, who else was there and the game they were forced to play.

"I see," said Toufuu with a incredulous look on his face. "Am I to believe you had chosen your problems with the Japanese language?"

Shampoo only nodded.

"I understand. In the same way, you think you've received your eyesight problems from someone else?"

"Y-yes, when we get here I couldn't see Mousse and he was talking to me only a couple of meters away. My head was hurting bad and then I collapsed on the floor."

"Elder, does Mousse keep a spare of his glasses around? I want to check something."

"Of course, doctor. I'll try to find a pair in his rooms. The boy has a good number of them."

Cologne return in a minute and placed the glasses on the girl's hands. It were too big for her slim face but it worked nevertheless.

"Can you see better now, Shampoo?"

"Yes, sensei. But it still strange, I can't see as well as I did."

"Shampoo, you should consult an ophthalmologist as soon as possible. I can indicate one, if you want."

"Shampoo," questioned Cologne, "what else did you choose? You said each one picked two problems."

"I, I," she stammered. "The Maoniichuan curse," she finally answered, almost whispering.

"My goodness! The demon could manipulate Jusenkyou's magic like that!" exclaimed the Matriarch. Jusenkyou curses were extremely strong and Cologne believe the origin of the pools to be related with the Kami or possibly with their counterparts from down under.

To test the theory the doctor grabbed a nearby glass of water and turned it on the girl, who remained unchanged.

"You're free from the curses, Shampoo. I'm glad you're no longer a cat."

At that Shampoo shuddered and began to panic. Scenes of a pit, darkness, yowls and terrible claws and fangs were appearing in her head. "C-C-CATS! GET THEM AWAY FROM ME!" The scared girl jump out of the bed and knocked herself out cold, hitting the wardrobe head first. 

Toufuu picked the girl up and gently put her on the bed again.

"Son-in-law, you didn't..."

"This is serious, Elder. I think I will see how Ranma and Akane are doing. Then I'll check how the okomiyaki chef is doing."

"Please do, Ono-san. I'll be taking care of my great-granddaughter and wait for the fool that works here. Thanks for coming so quickly. I hope you'll accept your payment as usual."

"As long as you're cooking, elder, as long as you're cooking."

---

Ukyou has finally stopped crying and was thinking. The only black piglet she had ever seen in Nerima was Akane's pet, P-chan. And P-chan was always wearing a black and yellow bandana, just like Ryouga.

It was the only explanation possible. Ryouga was there with them, and she couldn't remember ever seeing Ryouga and P-chan together. That the fool was in love with Akane she knew well, but how he would manage to keep it a secret?

'Ranma! He had to know! And that would explain all the pigs jokes and insults he uses! But how come he let it happen? Why doesn't he tell Akane her pet pig is Ryouga?'

Frustrated with the lack of answers and enraged with the lost boy, Ukyou settled to give the boy a piece of her mind and the business end of her spatula. Arming herself with her weapons of choice, she gained the street. 

The Tendou doujou seemed a good place to start searching.

---

Mousse was an amazon with a mission. Probably the most dangerous type, even it the mission was a simple one – reach doctor Toufuu office, and bring him to the Nekohanten. What could go wrong?

Dangerous words, especially for Neriman martial artists.

The doctor has obviously relocate his office and despite having asked several passersby for directions of his new office, he couldn't find the damn place!

'Saotome! You must have given me false directions to stop me helping my beloved Shampoo so you could do it yourself! You'll pay for this!' he thought, almost growling.

The buildings around him were becoming scarce and soon he found himself in a rural area. 

'Rural area in Tokyo?' the boy wondered. He stop running and decide to ask a nearby farmer where he was and how to get back home.

"Excuse me, sir, could you please inform where I am? And which is the best way to reach the Nerima Ward?"

The farmer stop his work and yelled to a woman who was close by.

"Hey wife, you ain't going to believe it, there's another one!"

"Another one? I don't understand you, sir."

The woman joined them and her husband addressed her, laughing. "He also want to know how to go to Nerima!"

"What my husband is trying to say is that a boy your age with a huge pack and a black and yellow bandana is always passing by asking this same question! If you find him you two can travel together," she said, smacking her unhelpful husband in the arm.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!" screamed the amazon, running down the road.

"Hey, he's going in the right direction! And we haven't even told him anything."

"We should have tried that a long time ago," the man responded, resuming his work. 

---

'Great! The furou is full!' thought Akane, entering the bathroom. She would have to literally throw Neko-Ranma in the furou and then run away to avoid seeing him in the nude. She would never give the hentai this satisfaction. Even in the worst scenario he would still be on the Nekoken and she would have to quiet him the normal way. 'Hope he won't do anything perverted if it comes to that, we can't just splash him to bring him back now,' she concluded, passing by the redheaded in the mirror.

Redheaded in the mirror?

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

Author's notes: 

Appointing the problems of the NWC was a hard thing to do and I kept changing my mind each time I thought about it. In the end, I've decided to do exactly the same thing Mara did and randomly roll the results with the aid of my trusty dice. I've rolled three sets of results. 

In one Ranma and Shampoo were lucky enough to be free of any problems and Mousse had the three other Jusenkyou curses (I ain't touching that one not even with a 10 feet pole) and therefore not suitable for this story. The second was just a recipe for homicide, with Ryouga with both the Nekoken and the Maoniichuan curse, Shampoo with Akane's temper and Ranma with Ukyou's hatred for his father. The third one worked like a charm, and I've got some results that I would never have picked consciously, but proved to be very funny to write about.

I would like to thank Chi Vanye, who kindly offered to pre-read my work.

Please review my story, it is greatly appreciated.

By Fangorn (3-VIII-2003)

fangorn_ff@terra.com.br


	3. IG03

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, its characters and concepts belong to Rumiko Takahashi and those enterprises to whom she has given publishing rights. Ah! Megami-sama, its characters and concepts belong to Fujishima Kosuke and those enterprises to whom such rights were given. This work does not intend to infringe upon those rights, nor is it intended for commercial use.

* * *

  


Infernal Game

Chapter 3

  


  


One of the greatest mysteries of Nerima was the ladle lady. She was ancient even by amazon standards and she has always been there, as far as any of the residents could remember, even if almost no one remembered her name.

The ladle lady, as she was nicknamed because of her habit of washing the entrance of her house several times a day, had several strange abilities. One of them was to detect someone cursed by Jusenkyou, or so the cursed ones thought. How she did that no one knew – it was Nerima anyway.

Once her target was near, she would just position herself on the sidewalk and looking totally inconspicuous she would calmly wash the pavement, waiting for her prey to fall on her trap, just like a fly falling prey to a carnivorous plant. Another of her abilities was not to be noticeable by the local martial artists, much like Toufuu-sensei's ability to mask his presence. 

Perhaps she was the heir and last practitioner of an almost forgotten branch of the Art that involved splashing others by surprise, perhaps she was an agent deeply planted by whatever forces that had created Jusenkyou in order to make the life of the afflicted really miserable or perhaps she was just a mean old lady with a ladle and no fear to use it.

Occam's razor would dictate that the last option was the correct one, but the habitants of Nerima knew better than trust its sharp edge around the neighborhood. 

And no one even complained. It was just wrong to accuse someone so old and fragile for something so innocent as washing the sidewalk. She was always there and always with her trusty ladle. To blame her would be like blaming a tree for being there upon bumping on it. Not even Ryouga did that. Blame Ranma, maybe, but never the tree.

It was ironic how everyone dismissed Ranma and company's excuses as nonsense. They saw the ladle lady, how couldn't they?

Ukyou thought so, too. Until today.

"BWEEE!"

Perhaps she was the _undefeated _heir and last practitioner of water splashing. Another mark for her on the wall.

'My clothes! My spatula! What I'm going to do now?' considered a very pissed off Ukyou, doing her best to move out her traditional okonomiyaki chef uniform. 'At least I wasn't crushed by my own spatula. Gah! If I get hot water right now I'll be naked!'

Ukyou decided to make a run for her restaurant, berating herself for not telling Konatsu the details of this morning incident. She didn't make it far, as a pair of strong hands picked her up by surprise.

"BWEEE!" she squirmed, trying to get away from her captor. It was very unnerving to be manhandled like this. She was feeling utterly helpless.

"P-chan! What are you doing here? Akane is probably looking for you."

Ukyou relaxed as she saw the kind eyes of doctor Toufuu. She would be safe with him and perhaps she would be able to find hot water and a good opportunity to use it. 'Strange, he isn't going to his office,' she thought, before realizing his real destination.

---

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The pungent scream broke Nabiki out of her reverie and she ran to the bathroom to figure the things out. She was very seldom taken unprepared like this and she would try to gather the missing pieces of this puzzle as swiftly as possible. Kasumi was following just behind her.

"What was that?" asked a worried Kasumi.

"Delayed reaction, maybe," Nabiki guessed.

"Oh, we'll need Akane here if Ranma is acting like a cat."

"Or splash him with hot water." But Nabiki was worried with her little sister's absence, one of the questions she was seeking answers for.

Stopping by the bathroom's door, Nabiki found a female Ranma staring at the mirror, horrified with something, the door to the furou wide open and a naked, male Ranma looking at his female counterpart open mouthed. The black cat was nowhere to be found.

Before Nabiki could analyze the new pieces of the puzzle, Kasumi stopped behind her and shouted a short scream. The sight was too much to the usually collected girl.

The scream brought the attention of the Ranmas to them, but the female Ranma quickly turned her head to the male one with a hurt expression on her face and stormed out of the bathroom, pushing the Tendou girls out of the way. 

Akane's mind was in turmoil. She couldn't understand how this could have befallen her. All she wanted to do was get away from it right now.

"What have you done now, boy?" bellowed Genma, with Soun just behind his large bulk. The bald man was looking angry and was blocking the way. Kasumi's yell must have attracted the pair's attention.

Akane's eyes narrowed at the over-weight martial artist. Her confusion ceased as an emotion well known to her overwhelmed her senses. Her anger was back. With reinforcements.

"You," she managed to say, still holding her temper. "GO AWAY!"

"You won't go anywhere until you've told me what I want to know, boy!" he snapped back.

"You... you JACKASS!" and she sprinted in his direction.

Genma was ready, or so he'd thought. It was uncommon for the boy to strike in anger like this, but the life of a true martial artist was fraught with surprises. Something strange was going on here and he was sure he could hold the boy until he calmed down a bit. 

After all, he had trained Ranma for more than ten years and he was quite used to his style. He was outmatched, he knew that. Since they'd arrived at the Tendous, the boy's life was one challenge after another and his skill had grown tremendously. But all he had to do was hold him for a little while, a task he was sure he could accomplish.

Unfortunately for Genma, he wasn't prepared to face the mistress of the indiscriminate malleting ryuu. He had positioned himself to meet the boy's usual initial salvo and didn't manage to adjust his defense to the mallet until a couple of blows had already landed. Concentration lost, he was thrown back to the living room and from there he was sent flying to the koi pound.

"AND STAY THERE!"

Nabiki was watching the scene from a safe distance. She was used to see Ranma beat her father on occasion, but nothing like this. It took a lot to get this kind of reaction from Ranma. And why would he use a mallet to send his old man to the koi pound, of all weapons? She could swear that the style was the same used by her little sis. She sighed, frustrated. Instead of answers, she was only collecting more questions. 

The male Ranma passed by her in a hurry, clad with a bath towel only. Nabiki had almost forgotten about him. Was he a mirrored version of her? Was he the true one? Or could _both_ be Ranma? Her experience told her not to discard any options.

Soun, on the other hand, didn't have the same analytical mind her middle daughter possessed and couldn't couple with the situation as easily. He settled on the zen way – the mind of no mind – and not to deal with it.

---

Ranma awakened in the hot waters of the furou. He had no idea of how he ended up there. The last thing he could recall was seeing her girl body, a sight he had hoped never to see again, where Akane had been.

Now he was seeing her again, regarding the mirror. After a moment Nabiki and then Kasumi showed up on the door, the latter screamed and her girl version glanced him, pain in her eyes, and then she got out of the bathroom.

'She... she reacted just like Akane would!' Ranma thought. 'How? That ain't supposed to be happenin'! Oh no! NO! I wrote 'my cursed body' on that stupid card!'

Hearing his father yell something, Ranma realized that him and the others must be thinking that Akane was him. He got a towel and ran after his father to stop him. His father only barked like that when he was looking for a fight.

He was too late, but to his surprise Akane managed to hold her own against his old man. She was about to climb the stairs when he stopped her.

"Akane! Stop! I... I," he stammered. 

Slowly she turned to face him. Ranma was expecting lots of things. Getting away with full use of his limbs was not one of them but she surprised him when she dropped the mallet, sat on the stairs and began to cry.

"I'm sorry," Ranma apologized, his voice almost a whisper. He'd rather face the mallet.

Nabiki interrupted him. "If you two don't mind," she said wryly, "I, for one, want to know what's going on here." 

Ranma nodded apprehensively. He really preferred to face the mallet. At least he had lots of experience with it.

"I... I'll need some hot water."

"I'll get it," offered Kasumi.

"What do you need hot water for?" asked Nabiki in her veiled threat tone she had specialized in. "Spill the beans already, Saotome. And why are you calling her Akane?"

At that Akane started to wail. Ranma pleaded the fifth and waited until Kasumi returned with a kettle of hot water and then he spilled its contents on the redhead's hair.

Nabiki gasped at the sight in front of her. The girl's bright red hair changed to a dark bluish tone and she gained a few inches in height. Her face morphed into a well known and cherished one. Her little sister was there, wet and miserable, holding her knees tight and looking only at her feet.

"Oh, my!" exclaimed Kasumi, genuinely astonished. She sat by her side and touched her shoulder. "Are you alright, Akane?"

"Oh, Kasumi," she wailed, hugging her older sister.

"Hush, Akane, it'll be alright."

Trusting Kasumi to do the mothering, Nabiki opted to use her skills of choice, intimidation and exploitation, on Ranma, the only one in condition to give her the answers she needed. 'At least father is still out of it,' she thought. 'He'll blow a gasket when he hears about this.'

"I take it," she said, turning to Ranma, "that you are no longer cursed."

"I'm still cursed," he replied sullenly, without taking his eyes off a sobbing Akane. 'Why she's crying like this? What's up with her?'

"Then we will have twins around?"

"Huh?" was his intelligent response, turning to face Nabiki one second too late to avoid the glass of water that had been thrown at him.

Neko-Ranma meowed angrily at Nabiki and dodged her when she tried to pick him up.

"This just keeps getting better and better," Nabiki said dryly. "I think we'll need more hot water".

---

"You want to know the direction to the Nerima Ward?" asked the bubbly blonde. Before Mousse could confirm his question, she continued. "Please, sir, wait here for just a minute!" and she began to climb the stairs to the Shinto temple in the hilltop.

Mousse cursed mentally. He was hungry and tired. He could be near Tokyo right now, but without directions or someone to follow he could easily end up arriving in Hokkaido, so he had no choice but to wait. The blonde didn't look like someone he could trust, but still a much better option than going around on his own. And he could use the time to rest for a little while.

'Of all those cards I had to pick just Hibiki's wanderlust! That's probably the worst one in whole pack! Argh! I'll kill that bastard once I find him, he separated me from my beloved Shampoo!'

The blonde was true to her word and soon she was descending the stairs, unceremoniously dragging an aggravated brunette with her. As soon as they stopped, the blonde blurted out. "Ask her!"

"Let me go, Mihoshi!" yelled the brunette, breaking free from the blonde. "What was on your mind to you to do that?"

Mihoshi just pointed the brunette out to Mousse and repeated. "Ask her!"

Mousse was in no mood to play games. All he wanted was the information and he would leave as soon as possible, so he decided to try the brunette. She looked like she was playing with a full deck.

"Miss, you would please give me the directions to the Nerima Ward in Tokyo?"

"See? Another one! Pay up, Kyone!"

Kyone left eye twitched. Just her luck to lose a bet with Mihoshi of all the people! And a sure one, too. How was she supposed to know that there where people with the same sense of direction of that bandanna clad boy around? 

'Washuu assured us it wasn't contagious, perhaps he was honestly asking for directions,' she hoped. "You must get down to that road and turn left." She reinforced the point by waving both hands in the proper direction.

Mousse thanked the pair and left in a hurry. He didn't understand what they were talking about, but surely it involved Ryouga. He had been everywhere in his eternal quest to reach Nerima, and almost everyone he'd asked for directions had either seen or heard of him.

The girls kept track of his moves until he reached the crossroad... and went the wrong away. Mihoshi was jumping in joy. "Yay! All the ice cream I can eat!"

Kyone's left eye twitched again. 'That'll be expensive,' she thought, shuddering. "At least Washuu didn't get him to run some experiments with."

"_Ahem_."

Both members of the galactic police looked behind at the newcomer. "Ah, Washuu-_chan,_" completed Kyone.

"That's better. Now Mihoshi, why did you feel the need to kidnap Kyone like that? What's the matter?"

"Ice cream!" she answered, doing a 'V' with her fingers.

Washuu raised an eyebrow at that. "And how would dragging Kyone here would grant you ice cream, Mihoshi?"

"Him!" the blonde replied, pointing to the white robed boy who was quickly disappearing in the distance.

Washuu gave up hope of receiving any useful information from the over excited blonde and turned to Kyone.

"I lost a bet," she sighed. "That boy wanted to go to Nerima and he went the wrong way after we gave him directions."

"Another one!" Washuu exclaimed. "I must take him to the lab!" Opening her lab door out of thin air, she vanished. The galactic cops knew where it would reappear and with no surprise they observed it open just behind the boy and an arm pulling him inside.

Kyone just shook her head. "Poor boy... well, better him than me."

"Com'on, Kyone, let's go to town!"

The brunette sighed again. Resistance was futile. "Hold a second, I'll go fetch my purse."

---

The small black piglet was becoming more and more agitated in Toufuu's hands. The doctor briefly wondered if P-chan didn't want to go home, but quickly dismissed the thought. He became more interested in testing how similar the pig's physiology was to the human one. With the tip of fingers he sensed a small clutch of nerves in the pig's neck. In humans the right amount of pressure would put the patient into a state of lethargy very close to sleep, but would it cause the same reaction on small piglets?

Toufuu decided there would be no harm in doing the little test and he would rather be carrying a peaceful pet, so he lightly tapped the spot. With satisfaction he observed P-chan stop his squirming. Expecting the effect to pass soon, he pressed his march.

The Tendou doujou was close and he reached the gates in no time. He was received by a somewhat bruised panda.

"Hello, Saotome-san. Heavy spar session this afternoon?"

"Growf!" [I wish,] the panda showed a wooden sign. [Come in, sensei,] he finished, flipping it. He decided to stay outside until he was sure the boy has cooled down.

'That was odd,' thought the doctor. 'Genma didn't say anything about the children problems, I wonder if they are trying to keep it a secret.' He wasn't a strange to the household, so he allowed himself in.

"Good afternoon!" he greeted the presents, which were only Akane and... Kasumi.

"Oh, he-he-hello Kasumi!" he stammered, glasses slowly but inexorably fogging over. "To find you here of all places!"

"Oh, sensei, but I live here," she answered, still holding her baby sister. Kasumi couldn't help but find the doctor's sense of humor very odd. 

"Haha! Right! Silly me!" 

Losing his grip on reality, the good doctor's hold on the small and subdued piglet became too tight and P-chan, even dazed, protested against it.

The sound was very low but Akane heard it.

"P-CHAN! You're back!" Akane ran and snatched the little pig from Toufuu's hands before something nasty could happen. She trusted him with her life, but she knew well the damage his Kasumi-induced hysteria could provoke and P-chan was just a piglet.

With her pet safe she decided to seek asylum in her own bedroom. Akane wasn't feeling like talking to anyone, at least not now. 

Kasumi waited until she heard the door close upstairs before addressing the doctor. "Please forgive my sister for not thanking you, sensei, she didn't mean to be disrespectful. She has a lot on her mind right now. I'm sure she appreciates it. Did you come by just because of Akane's pet?" 

"Hai!" 

That wasn't the complete truth but it wasn't a lie either. He had found the pet on the street by coincidence. A small part of his mind registered Kasumi's words about her little sister, but he was really concentrating in retaining the use of his mental faculties. He didn't trust himself with larger words either, so a simple 'hai' would have to do.

It didn't.

Completely satisfied with his answer, the eldest Tendou daughter beamed at him and her smile opened radiantly. "Thank you for time, sensei. You brought P-chan back just when Akane needed her pet the most. You're such a good family friend, how can we express our gratitude?." Acting on impulse for once, Kasumi kissed the doctor on the cheek.

Toufuu's already weakened defenses crumbled at her sunny smile, but the soft brush of her limps on his skin was the _coup de grace_. To Kasumi it seemed the doctor exploded, unleashing a wordless cry of pure joy and running out the living room into the garden.

"He's so silly!" Kasumi happily exclaimed between giggles as she headed to the kitchen. She knew the doctor loved her cookies and he has just gained lots of points on Kasumi's book. Yes, he deserved her special chocolate cookies for this.

---

The doujou was her best chance at privacy and Nabiki waved to Ranma to follow her there. Neko-Ranma knew that this confrontation was inevitable so he decided to face it like a man among men. Or a cat among men. Whatever. Besides, Nabiki was carrying the kettle with hot water. 

He was hating it already, even the simplest movements, like grabbing something, were almost impossible to him now. He hated being helpless. How did Shampoo put up with it? Or Ryouga, which curse was probably worse still? He found a new respect to both of them now that he was walking a mile in their paws. 

He also hated the prospect of being naked each time the curse was reversed. If this curse kept being triggered at the worst possible moments like his old Nyannichuan curse, he was bound to be decked several times a day for perversion by mobs of angry females and he would be flying long miles via Air Akane. 

He only hoped that Nabiki wouldn't have a fit when he transformed or a fiancée would show up at the doujou at that time. At least Nabiki wouldn't try to crush him with a stone lantern or with the living room table. The problem would be if she decided to get him in non physical ways. Yes, that would be a big problem.

Inside the training hall, Nabiki got an used gi and prepared to throw it at Ranma, who was relieved that she understood what was about to happen. For the first time in months he was glad Nabiki was an untraditional Japanese girl that admitted no nonsense like this.

Nabiki doused him and turned her head, offering him the gi. Ranma recovered his decency before anyone could interrupt them.

"Talk, Saotome," Nabiki told him dryly. "Talk until you've told me everything that happened to my baby sister, and if I find it to be your responsibility, may the Kami have mercy on you, because I'll make you wish you hadn't been born."

Ranma winced at her words, cleared his throat and began to tell her the strange story of the game they'd played. 

---

Saotome Genma was not happy.

Sure, his useless excuse of a son had hammered him into the koi pound again, the brat, but that wasn't so bad. He was used to it and at least it was a private matter. He wasn't used to be humiliated in public like he was being right now, however.

He had heard doctor Toufuu's scream, he should have been able to figure out what could possibly make him yell like that, he chastised himself as he was spun through the streets of Nerima.

He had reacted too slowly, too. He saw the look on his face as he'd run in his direction with the speed of a bullet train. One second, he had one second to invoke the Umisenken's protection and fade away safely, but he had hesitated. Few things he held sacred in this life and one of them was the seal he had placed on the techniques of his creation, and his conscience robbed the precious second he had.

'Serves me right to have bothered to listen to it.'

He considered breaking the hold the doctor had on his hands, but images of his son's fight against the golden pair kept popping on his mind. He didn't want to be smashed against a wall, and he estimated the centrifugal force created by the doctor twirl to be even greater than that created by Mikado Sanzenin.

So he decided to grimly accept being waltzed around. He wasn't Betty, the sensei's skeleton, but a much heavier giant panda. The doctor wouldn't be able to keep this rhythm for much longer, would he?

Damn, he might. Genma had never seen the doctor so out of it before. 'Someone stop the world,' he pleaded mentally. 'I want off!'

---

"Oh, P-chan, what am I going to do now? I'm cursed just like Ranma," Akane confided to her pet, an habit she had developed shortly after adopting the black piglet. Ranma'd entered her life like a typhoon and then almost everything changed and sure she did have problems with it. Talking to P-chan helped her to cool down and gain some perspective on whatever was troubling her. And he had the most intelligent eyes and somehow he always made noises as if he understood what she was talking about and was trying to reply. She really hated it when he wasn't around.

"Bwee?" (you too, sugar?). That was bad. Doctor Toufuu had used the Vulcan nerve pinch or something akin on her and when she opened her eyes again she was on Akane's lap on her bed. The girl had obviously been crying and she was holding her with a dead man's grip. The only thing left to her was play along, a role she wasn't comfortable with. At least she would discover what had befallen them. 'I wonder if she's a duck or a cat.'

"Yes, P-chan. And Ranma's curse changed, now he becomes a black cat."

"BWEE?" (that bimbo did that?). 'Argh! Stupid amazons! That means Akane turns into a duck.'

"Where's your bandanna, baby, have you lost it?"

"Bwee?" (what she's talking about?)

"No problem, P-chan. I'll ask Ryouga for another one when he shows up again. I'm sure he has a lot of them. I wonder how he's doing."

"BWEEE!" (Who cares? I hope he's dead, the bastard!)

Silently Akane began to sob again and soon she cried herself to sleep. But her hold didn't relaxed one inch and after a couple of minutes the silence and the heat overcame Ukyou's senses and she slept, too. 

---

"... and then I woke in the furo," Ranma finished his narrative. Stoically he waited for the verdict.

Nabiki rubbed her temples for a long time. "I see," she finally said. "Well, that could have been worse, much worse." 

"Yeah, Akane could have got Mousse's curse or somethin'."

"That too, but I was talking about your curse."

"Huh? What about my curse?"

"I think that the demoness would try to interpret whatever you've wrote in the worst possible form, Ranma. If you had wrote just your curse, she might have taken it as 'aquatranssexualism'."

"Gah!" the thought of an otoko-Akane wielding a giant sledgehammer crossed his mind, making him shudder.

"'Gah' indeed, Ranma. All things considered it was probably a good thing you'd written it that way. Who knows how she might have treated a Nyannichuan curse, if you'd written that?" she pointed out. "She forced you guys to pick something, so not playing the game wasn't a solution."

"So, am I off the hook?"

"This time, yes, Saotome. Could have been dumb luck, but it probably saved Akane from the worst. And it doesn't seem like the demon was after you personally. You aren't engaged to her, are you?"

"NO!" 

"Heh, that's a first. What have you wished away, by the way? And how you didn't go crazy by turning in a cat?"

"Feh, do you think I'm dumb? I was sure Shampoo would pick her Maoniichuan curse, and with my luck I thought it would a good thing to lose the Nekoken."

"That was unusually clever of you, Ranma-kun," she complimented. "But you didn't say what else you've got."

"No idea," he shrugged. "Dunno what Akane got, either. You'll have to ask her."

"I will," she said, getting ready to leave the doujou. "And Ranma, I want you to keep your lips closed about this as long as you can. I think my college fund will get quite a boost if I can mill the Furinkan students as much as I can with it. Promise me or I won't help you."

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "And what can you help me with, Nabiki?"

"Otousan, of course. Or you want to break the news to father yourself, Ranma-kun?" she smirked.

Ranma paled at the prospect of facing a Gojira sized demon-head. 

"I thought so. Do I have your word, Ranma?"

"On my honor, Nabiki. But you know it won't hold for long."

"Enough to me to make lots of money. I can't ask for more than that. Com'on, Ranma, let's go see my father."

---

The sun was going down and Hibiki Ryouga still laid in a hole of his own making. Literally. He did all the thinking he needed to, now it was the time to act.

It was funny, he didn't even have to move to know that his sense of direction was working properly now. He knew precisely where he was and, more importantly, which direction to take in order to reach Nerima, Akari's pig farm or even Jusenkyou if he was inclined to go there. It was even funnier to remember how difficult it was to him to leave the Nekohanten and the all the other times he got lost in small environments. He felt like he had been given a jigsaw puzzle to put together without all the pieces. Heck, he was missing half the pieces.

Knowing the way didn't mean it was easy to follow the right road. He was mortally afraid of how Akane would react when she finally learned the secret identity of her pet pig. It was bound to happen now that someone else had the curse, no longer a matter of if but one of when. He couldn't even blame Ranma for that. He did keep his word and never disclosed his secret, even if he tried to throw her hints from time to time. It was his own stupidity that exposed his most guarded secret, exactly in the hope of getting free of it. 

He didn't appreciate the irony of it.

Still he had to go to Nerima. Akane may be in need of a friend right now. How to know what she had received in those thrice damned cards? He had to be sure she was safe. He owned her a explanation for his actions, even if she probably would mallet him into next week or worse. It was something he just had to do. 

Perhaps, perhaps Akane would understand that it was all Ranma's fault.

But right now he needed to discover what ailed him and the urge to check out for another Jusenkyou's curse was great. He had lots of experience with it to know that he would get wet sooner or later and it was for the best to have hot water available immediately. It's was always a nightmare to gather wood and lit it in the wild with the hoofs of a small piglet. 

Climbing out of the hole, he retrieved his large backpack and heated some water. It was with anxiousness that he doused himself with cold water and with dread he felt the familiar twinge as his body shifted into something else.

"QUACK!"

The task to move the hot kettle with the tip of his wings proved to be much difficult than he had thought and twice he almost wasted it on the ground, but in the end he managed to splash himself and recover his true form.

"MOUSSE! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" he bellowed to the heavens.

Yes, he really didn't appreciate the irony of it.

* * *

Author's notes: 

I would like to thank everyone who has sent me suggestions. I had the next chapter already written, but some were so good I have to mention them. One person suggested transforming Ryouga into a cat girl (Nyannichuan/Maoniichuan combo) *snicker*, another wanted Mousse to wish away his infatuation for Shampoo... to land on Akane (Aiyah, pervert girl no touch Shampoo there!). A good number of people wanted a duck with the buoyancy of a rock. Sesh, I thought I was mean...

Please review my story, it is greatly appreciated.

By Fangorn (3-VIII-2003)

fangorn_ff@terra.com.br


	4. IG04

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, its characters and concepts belong to Rumiko Takahashi and those enterprises to whom she has given publishing rights. Ah! Megami-sama, its characters and concepts belong to Fujishima Kosuke and those enterprises to whom such rights were given. This work does not intend to infringe upon those rights, nor is it intended for commercial use.

* * *

Infernal Game

Chapter 4

"Mara, I want a report of your new assignment in one hour!" the voice on the interphone demanded.

Mara hurried to gather the necessary material. Hild wasn't known for being patient nor forgiving. Punishment was usually severe whenever a demon failed her, no matter how difficult the task she'd given them was nor the interference they may have encountered. Luckily for Mara she had good results to report and she was sure Hild would be interested in the Nerima group, so all she would have to do was show the extraordinary work she had done with them. The work with the two other groups was technically flawless as well, but they were nowhere as interesting as this one.

She had some time before the scheduled meeting, and she decided to revise the material in the waiting room and before she knew it she was called into her office.

"Take a seat, Mara," ordered the demoness. "I hope everything's going fine with the new project."

"Oh, yes, we had success with all the three test groups, especially the first one," Mara said, handing her boss a folder.

"Hmm... just a group of children," she muttered, studying the material. "Ah, Jusenkyou curses, that's most interesting. And four of them! I take they are all feeling miserable now."

Mara smiled. "Most certainly so. I have this group under survey."

"Very well. I'll have them checked later, then. I take it was an easy job to make them participate."

"Children, all of them, as you've said. They were easily fooled."

"And what about Jusenkyou's magic?" asked Hild.

"That was a little troublesome, but as long as you don't try to dispel the enchantment, Jusenkyou magic is quite malleable," Mara explained. "Of course, copying the exact cursed body of someone and giving it to another was the hardest part."

"I'm pleased with your work, Mara," she complimented. "You may proceed with the project, and make sure I don't regret it. You're dismissed."

"Thank you, I won't," she said, raising and exiting the room. 'That went better than I'd expected.'

Hild smiled. Soon her revised plan would be put in motion. It was ironic that her adversaries had given her the means to strike again, and she felt very satisfied that their own ethical standards were going to be their downfall.

In a war you can't kill your opponent, and seals were only a temporary solution, conversion was the ultimate weapon.

---

Genma was definitely not a happy panda. The day had started okay, with a nice spar session with the boy that ended in a drawn inside the koi pound, one of the best results he had obtained in the last few months. He even managed to use the kettle first! But things went downhill pretty quick. First his useless excuse of a son showed up with a cat and if that wasn't strange enough, he malleted him into the pound for no good reason. Then Toufuu-sensei decided to give him a crash course of dance and crash he did, face first, against a stone wall which promptly crumbled over him.

Of course even the entranced strength of the good doctor would eventually falter at the task of swirl a giant panda, and it'd happened at the worst possible moment.

Getting free from the debris and limping, Genma began the long walk back to Tendou-ke. All the way home he kept dreaming about a long soak in the furou to alleviate his sore muscles and the many bruises he had collected this day. Yes, he would kill for it, or possibly engage Ranma to the daughter of a sentou owner.

Genma knew something very strange was going on, but right now all he cared about was getting some rest. A nice, Kasumi made meal would most certainly help, too.

Carefully he opened the fortress-like gates of the Tendou household. So far so good. Everything was quiet, but that wasn't reason to relax. Genma decided to enter the house by the kitchen. It was a sound plan – Kasumi's domain was usually an island of tranquility surrounded by the sea of chaos that was Nerima. It was also his best hope for hot water and a snack or two. 'What could go wrong?' he thought.

The heavens themselves seemed fit to answer and lowly and distantly thunder rumbled, heralding the incoming rain. The omen was lost on Genma, however.

As Genma cautiously approached the door, he smelled something nice. Kasumi was baking and if his nose wasn't fooling him, chocolate was present in the recipe.

He found Kasumi humming a happy tune and preparing a second plate of cookies to the oven.

'Kasumi's chocolate cookies! My luck's getting better!' he thought, a paw already over a cookie when Kasumi slapped the offending limb.

"Growf!" he exclaimed, more surprised than hurt. Even Kasumi's slap was gentle, but is was the intention that counted.

"Those are not for you, Ojisan," she admonished. "I'll make more later. There's hot water in the kettle and Otousan is waiting for you in the living room. Please join him now, I'll bring some snacks in a minute."

'Even sweet Kasumi is against me today,' he complained mentally, dousing himself with the kettle's contents. 'What have I done to deserve this?'

The heavens didn't dignify _that_ question with an answer.

Back to human form, Genma found Ranma, Nabiki and Soun sat around the table.

"Saotome-kun! We were waiting for you. The children want to explain us something. Take a seat," Soun said.

Taking his place, Genma chastised his son. "Ranma! Why have you attacked me like that? And why were you screaming like a girl earlier today? There can be no excuses for this kind of behavior!"

"Shut the hell up, Oyaji. I ain't in the mood for this crap and that wasn't me, either," he snapped at his father, a little more violently than he'd intended.

"You expect me to believe that, boy? What do you take me for, a stupid?"

Before Ranma could answer and confirm his father's hypothesis, degenerating the conversation to an all-out brawl, Nabiki splashed him. It was the only way she came up to stop Ranma from putting his foot, or paw, in the month. She really need to break the news without any violent interruptions and a non talkative Ranma would be of a great help. She was sure, too, that a demonstration would be needed to convince the masters of the Musabetsu Kakutou Ryuu.

"There has been some... modifications in the _status quo_ around here," she explained to the astonished martial artists.

"Where did Ranma go?" asked Soun, while Genma was trying to regain his composure. As if to answer the elder Tendou, Ranma picked that exact moment to jump onto the table.

"The black cat..." Genma thought aloud.

"Is your son, Ojisan," she completed, offering her excuses to an indignant Ranma.

Both elders face-faulted.

"How... how this came to pass?" asked Soun, who recovered first.

Quickly Nabiki told them the story of how Ranma and the rest of the crew were abducted and forced to sort their problems around. Neko-Ranma just nodded occasionally to confirm what Nabiki was saying.

"Why this? What happened to my little daughter?" Soun asked, tears already running freely through his cheeks.

"Imoutou-chan is resting in her bedroom, father," assured Kasumi, bringing some tea and a dish with milk to Ranma, who didn't appreciate it. "I don't think we should disturb her now, she was quite shaken," she finished.

"Kasumi's right, father. From what I've seen, she's fine, just a little disturbed with it. And you've seen her, too, when she brought Ranma home."

Both adults frowned at this and Nabiki sighed. It was obvious they didn't understand what she'd just said. Years of habit were hard to break and she didn't like to spell things out without some kind of monetary compensation.

Feeling she had just lost a good business opportunity, she explained it again. "Ranma received Shampoo's curse and likewise Akane received Ranma's. She was cursed when she'd arrived, but I think she was unaware of that. The commotion was caused when she'd perceived it."

Realization dawned on Genma first and he began to move away from Soun.

"I see..." he said, slowly putting down his cup of tea.

Ranma flinched. He knew what was coming. Repeated exposure to Soun's Demon Head attack had granted him a small degree of resistance to it, but it was still something he could live without. And he was right on the money.

"WHAT HAVE YOU... URK!!"

"Now, now, father. Ranma didn't mean to anything to happen to Akane," Kasumi intervened, popping her father's attack out with ease, well before he'd reached half of its normal size. "He was forced to do it, like the others. It was not his fault."

Ranma couldn't help but to wonder how Kasumi did that. It was times like that he thought about suggesting her a career in the police bomb squad, but the reaction of the rest of the Tendou clan would probably be lethal, especially Akane's, who would volunteer to cook in her place if the girl decided to work.

No matter how many times he'd asked, Kasumi always refused to teach him the counter technique. Nevertheless he was very grateful that she has come to his rescue - it meant a lot to him. After almost an year living in the Tendou doujou he couldn't help but look at Kasumi like a big sister and even like a surrogate mother at times.

"Come with me, Ranma, I'll give you some hot water," Kasumi said, picking his clothes up.

All the way to the kitchen Ranma was thinking, resigned even, about the embarrassing situations only a Jusenkyou curse could produce. The nyanniichuan curse was looking better and better by the minute.

Kasumi gave him the privacy he needed, and Ranma stopped her before returning to the living room. "Kasumi, how's Akane doing? Not that I care or anythin'," he asked.

Kasumi just smiled. "Akane will be fine, Ranma. Just give her time. And Toufuu-sensei came by when you were in the doujou. He had found P-chan and he brought him back to imoutou-chan. Wasn't that nice of him?"

"Yeah, very nice," he muttered, sarcastically, under his breath, but Kasumi wasn't paying him attention any more.

Back to the living room, Genma didn't spare a second to start criticizing his son.

"Boy, that was sloppy of you. How could you let yourself be captured like that? And what about your iinazuke?"

Ranma gritted his teeth. "Shut up, Oyaji! Are you deaf? Haven't ya heard anythin' Nabiki said? It was a damn magic user DEMON!" he barked. "I'm outta here!" he said, storming out the house and heading for the doujou.

---

Shampoo groaned and stirred on her bed. Her head was killing her again. She has never had such strong migraine before. Tentatively she sat on the bed and opened her eyes and immediately regretted it. The world to her was just a big fuzzy picture and only through her memory she could identify the objects that adorned her room, mere blurs to her violet eyes.

"You are awaked, child," said her great-grandmother, entering the room. "Here, I've prepared some medicinal tea for you, I'm sure your head is troubling you again." Cologne didn't trust occidental medicine that much and she only gave her Shampoo an aspirin earlier because she didn't have the time to properly concoct it.

Shampoo gladly accepted the tea, even with its bitter taste.

"Great-grandmother, where are Mousse's glasses?"

"Good, child, very good. I was afraid your pride would make you act like that fool, who prefers to wear his glasses on the top of his head instead of in front of his eyes."

Shampoo nodded. Of course, the boy's glasses were just horrid, but right now Shampoo would accept anything to be able to see better than she was, even if it provides her but a fraction of her previously flawless vision.

"But I couldn't find another pair in the boy's room, Shampoo. He usually has a good number of them, but he carries as many as he can, as you well know," she concluded, shaking her head. "We'll have to wait until he comes back to get you another one."

"But, but what about the one I was using?"

"You mean this?" Cologne asked, raising a badly shattered pair of lens, barely holding together by a frame which had seen better days.

"Ah, I've broken them."

"Yes, child, and it leads to the problem of your new suitor."

"What?!" Shampoo screeched. She didn't need another Mousse in her life.

"I'm afraid this wardrobe had defeated you in honorable combat, Shampoo. Hurry up and give it a kiss of marriage before it runs away."

Good thing she was sitting on her bed, else face-faulting would have made her migraine worsen. "Great-grandmother!" she screamed indignantly.

Cologne just cackled in response. "I'm just having a little fun, child. But tell me, are you feeling well now?"

"Yes, great-grandmother."

"Good. I'll have to run some errands and I have to try to find that stupid boy. You'll need another pair of glasses and the quicker way to get one is with him. We would need a prescription to order a new one and that would take some time. If you think you are up to it, prepare the kitchen for tonight. Being closed for the whole day isn't good for business."

Shampoo nodded. "I'll do it."

"Take care, Shampoo. I'll be back as quickly as I can."

Closing the restaurant's door, the Joketsuzoku Elder gained the street. She really wanted to know what have kept Mousse from returning with the doctor, but her main goal was to find Ranma and discover exactly what he'd wished away on Shampoo. If he'd been wise enough to get rid of his pathological fear for cats he would probably be able to use the Nekoken while sane, and Cologne feared not even she would be able to defeat the boy. If he had transferred the very technique to Shampoo, well, this opened an entirely different can of worms. Either way she must be prepared.

---

'Finally!' Ukyou thought. She had waken ten minutes ago and she was trying to break Akane's unrelenting grip on her until she managed to slip away from her fingers and out of the bed. The girl rolled to the other side of the bed and replaced her pet pig with her comforter. 'Great, she's still sleeping!'

Now all she had to do was reach the bathroom, revert the curse, find some clothes and get the hell out of here. She had decided to tell Konatsu everything that happened to her. If today was a token of what could befall to her because of the pig curse, she would need all the help she could muster and who better than the trustworthy Kunoichi to this task?

Her problems weren't over yet – the door was closed.

"BWEE!" (Argh!)

'This isn't good, there's no way I can open this door,' she considered. 'Now, if only I could do that stupid trick Ryouga does all the time... oh well, I don't lose anything by trying.'

She positioned herself in front of the door and began to scratch it, trying to tear it asunder with the Bakusai Tenketsu.

Ukyou was about to give up when the door creaked open. 'Freedom!' she thought and ran away as quickly as she could.

"Oh, my," Kasumi exclaimed, nearly tripping on P-chan when she entered her sister's bedroom. "He's on a hurry."

Quietly she peeked inside and found her sister sleeping. 'I hope she'll be okay,' she prayed, closing the door again.

Meanwhile, Ukyou darted toward the stairs and climbed down, seeking the bathroom. Luckily for her, this time the door was open.

She didn't think twice and jumped in the furou's steaming waters. She nearly screamed in joy when she recovered her true form, but contained her enthusiasm. How would she explain what she was doing there?

She searched the small room outside the furou and found some clothes. Nabiki's school uniform, probably. Disgusted by being forced to wear someone else's dirt clothes, but without any other options, she began to dress herself. Unfortunately for her, Souun chose this very moment to enter the room to bathe himself.

"Oh, I'm sorry, excuse me," he said, closing the door. 'Why do Ranma's friends like to take a bath here so much? They could at least put the sign up,' he thought.

Ukyou blushed crimson and just shoved the rest of the uniform on. The sooner she was back to her restaurant the better.

---

Ranma closed the doujou's sliding door. He couldn't find solace in the Art this afternoon. He was feeling awkward doing his usual advanced katas and each time he committed a mistake his father's words - 'that was sloppy, boy' - came back at his mind.

Passing through the garden he spotted a somewhat dusted training dummy laying on the ground and decided to do a more physical oriented practice. He raised the dummy and positioned it in the support log.

_Right punch, left punch._

'Stupid Oyaji, who's he to call me sloppy?'

_Right, left, backhand._

'He got creamed by Akane, for Kami's sake!'

_Right, right, right._

'I can't remember the last time he fought for real and won!'

_High kick, step back, roundhouse._

'And when we fight for real he comes up with a stupid huggin' technique!'

_Snake fist, elbow, backhand._

'When I really need help he tries to each me things like 'the crouch of the wild tiger' and 'the hell hound yell'!'

_Right, open palm strike._

'While holding the good stuff sayin' he had sealed it away! Why, don't he trust me?!'

_Crescent kick._

'And then he says that I'm sloppy! Baka!'

_Mule kick._

'And if things weren't bad enough, 'P-chan' shows up!' he thought, gritting his teeth.

_Haymaker, snap kick._

'Stupid Ryouga, I bet he's all cozy in Akane's bed right now.'

_Low kick, high kick._

'Why can't she see that he's P-chan? Stupid promise.'

_Right, left, right, left._

'Stupid pig, why he keeps doin' that? That's just wrong!'

_Right, left, right, left, right, left._

'Damn it, why did he have to appear just now when she crying like that?'

_Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken, Mouko Takabisha._

The last sequence of attacks was too much for the wooden support log and it splintered at the base. Only after the doll crashed against the stone wall Ranma realized that he'd used the 'pride of the fierce tiger' instinctively when the training dummy flied out of his reach.

"Kuzo!" Ranma yelled. 'Man, I've damaged the wall again! Nabiki will want a piece of my liver for that...' he thought, examining the web-like cracks. The middle Tendou has been biting hard lately and he was sure she wouldn't let that slide and probably meant another photo session for him. Satisfied that the stone wall wouldn't crumble over an innocent passerby, Ranma jumped over it. He would face the music later. 'Better to check out how the others are doing,' he decided, 'man, Ucchan got three cards, she must be hating it. I'll check her first.'

---

Ranma wasn't the only one cursing. Shampoo was, too, unleashing a barrage of insults only a member of the Joketsuzoku could understand. The cause of her outburst? A chair in the restaurant main room. At least she managed to restrain herself before smashing it to smithereens with her bonbori.

'That's the fourth chair I've hit in less than an hour! My knee is getting sore! If this continues I'll have to ask great-grandmother to teach me the bakusai tenketsu the hard way...'

Navigating in the restaurant has proved to be quite a task for the recently nearsighted amazon.

The fifth chair, however, wasn't spared from Shampoo's wrath.

---

Daisuki and Hiroshi were discussing today's events in Ukyou's Uchan. The food was good and cheap, and along the Nekohanten, the best place to gather more info about what was happening. The Chinese restaurant remained closed today, so the only option left to them was to savor a couple of deluxe okonomiyaki. Unfortunately Ukyou wasn't present and Konatsu refused to answer their questions.

They were about to finish their Japanese pizzas when the owner of the establishment entered her restaurant and went straight upstairs.

"Man, what's up with the girl's uniform today? First Ranma and then Ukyou! Who's next?" Daisuke asked.

"Dunno, maybe Kunou?"

"Gah! Bad mental image, bad mental image!" he said, theatrically hitting his own ear, trying to get the image out of his mind.

Hiroshi laughed at his companion. "Sorry man, that was gross."

"Sure it was! And we are eating here, for Kami's sake!"

"Heh, really sorry, bud. But what do you think that had happened?"

"No idea, man, but we better find out by ourselves, or Nabiki will have us sold into slavery before the end of the week."

Hiroshi sighed. "That's for sure."

They were still arguing when Ranma, back to male form and wearing his usual black pants and red silk shirt combo, entered the restaurant and passed by them before they could stop him. He asked Konatsu at the grill the whereabouts of Ukyou and went upstairs.

"We've missed him!" Hiroshi pointed out.

"Too bad, but we can ask him about it tomorrow. We should get going."

"Yeah," he answered, getting up.

Upstairs, Ranma was knocking on Ukyou's door.

"Go away!"

"Ucchan? It's me!"

"Ranchan?" she asked. After a short pause, she opened the door.

"We gotta talk."

"Not here, sugar."

"Fine, let's go for a walk."

Ukyou didn't want to go out and risk getting wet again, but gave in. It was a good chance to be with Ranma alone and they really needed to talk. "Fine. Give Ukyou a minute," she said closing the door again.

"Sure," he answered automatically, then furrowed his brows. 'Give Ukyou a minute?' Before he could give the matter further thought, the door opened, revealing Ukyou in her traditional cooking clothes, but the heavy version she used in winter only. He was about to inquire about it, but Ukyou grabbed his hand and pulled him downstairs.

The pair was walking in the direction of a park for a couple of minutes, but neither of them were willing to break the ice and start the conversation.

When they reached the park they said in unison. "So," only to chorus "You first!" a second later.

Ranma laughed nervously and Ukyou took the initiative. "Still cursed, Ranchan?"

"Yeah," he said bitterly, "stupid Jusenkyou. Well, you know the saying, 'the more the things change the more they stay the same'."

"Not for Ukyou, sugar, not for Ukyou..." she commented dryly.

Ranma winced at his _faux pas_. He has done it again. "Ah, sorry, Ucchan, I didn't mean it like that."

"Ukyou know, honey. Just no want talk about now."

"I don't think we have much choice," he sighed. "We really need to reunite everyone, at least to know what to expect. We have to help each other." Ukyou digested it for a minute but Ranma couldn't hold his curiosity. "What else did you get, besides Shampoo's speech?"

Ukyou blinked. "What Ranchan say?"

"You're speaking just like Shampoo, Ucchan."

"Ukyou no do such thing! Speak perfect Japanese!" she denied.

Ranma barely controlled himself, it was hard not to laugh at that answer, but he could see by her reaction that she was dead serious.

"Uh, no, Ucchan, you're not," he fidgeted.

"Do too!"

"Ucchan, trust me on this one, okay?" he pleaded, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"But, but, Ukyou think she speak fine!"

Ranma repeated to her what she has just said. "No! That not what Ukyou say!" she still denied.

"Sorry, but that's what I'm hearing."

Ukyou felt dazed and sat on a nearby bench. "Aiyah, what Ukyou do now?"

Ranma didn't know what to say to make her feel better. He was never good at this kind of stuff. "Look, Ucchan, that ain't so bad, right? I mean, it's much better than a Jusenkyou's curse, correct?"

He regretted his words a moment later, because of the hurt look she gave him. "Oh hell, not you too, Ucchan..."

"Yes," she whispered.

"Duck curse?" he risked a guess. Ukyou just shook her head in a negative. He palled. "P-pig curse?"

Ukyou didn't get a chance to answer the question, as a pair of cyclists passed racing just behind them hitting a puddle hard enough to drench the pair.

'Argh! Not again!' she thought, seeing a black cat moving out of her fianc's clothes. Ranma's thoughts weren't much different, as he produced sounds only a very pissed cat were capable of.

They stared each other for couple of minutes, trying to communicate through mimic and failing miserably. Finally Ranma gave up – he wasn't very imaginative to begin with (outside the Art, of course) and read a pig's body language was pretty hard. He never had so much trouble with Ryouga, but then, their level of communication was very simple and repetitive – challenges, taunts and promises of swift termination were easily comprehended even when Ryouga was in his cursed body.

Crestfallen and with his cat ears down, Ranma wondered what would go wrong next.

"Charlotte!"

Ranma's reaction was strong enough to break through their communication barrier. Ukyou interpreted it as something like 'run for you life' and quickly complied. She hadn't no idea why the blond girl scared Ranchan like that but it couldn't be a good thing. The problem was, she was closing in fast. Ranma meowed something very closed to 'go' and turned to face the girl, while Ukyou sought cover under some bushes.

If Azusa had even noticed the black cat she didn't show it in anyway, as she homed in her long lost 'pet'. She did react in time to stop the black blur from scratching her face in midair, grabbing Ranma with both hands. She examined the cat and his beautiful blue eyes for an instant and happily yelled:

"Robespierre!"

Ranma shivered and tried to break her hold on him, but he had no leverage and Azusa made it impossible for him to use his claws. It was clear the girl had some experience in handling feisty cats.

Ukyou observed in horror from her hiding place as the girl used a small mallet to render Ranma unconscious and walk off, humming a simple tune.

The okonomiyaki chef was torn between following the girl or head to the restaurant to get some help. She didn't want to leave her fiancé in the clutches of that girl, but there so little she could do as a piglet, besides risking being captured as well and then no one would discover what happened to them. So she headed for her restaurant and hoped for the best.

---

"Senbei!"

With a small puff of smoke a half foot figure appeared next to Mara's shoulder. The Djinn, God of Poverty and Disaster, was rescued from an entrapment bottle that had sealed him for many decades by Mara, and he was bound to the demoness until the debt could be repaid.

At first he aided Mara in her attempts to drive Belldandy away from Keiichi, making the goddess leave this mortal realm so the demoness could leave as well. Now that Hild was involved, the Djinn knew his powers would be used for far more nefarious intents.

His powers were quite limited and his self proclamation as a god was a tremendous exaggeration. His realm was probability and he could alter it to create bad events to his targets. He could manipulate the chances to the opposite effect, but, being a Djinn, he preferred to spread unhappiness.

He also needed to recharge often. However, Mara has devised a plan to remove the limitation.

"Yes, mistress?"

"How's the battery going?" she asked the diminutive being.

"Senbei obtained a 13% charge so far, mistress."

"Already?" Mara raised an eyebrow. "That's almost twice as much as we'd expected."

"Senbei have been working almost without interruption, much unhappiness to harness and Senbei can't split himself to cover a two groups at once."

Just by being present when unhappiness was created anew was enough to recharge the Djinn, as long he hadn't used his powers to create it.

"Let me guess, the first group is making your work overtime. Am I correct?"

"Yes, mistress. Senbei is even losing some of the energy available."

A smile grew on the demoness' face. "You are doing very well, Senbei. Return to your task now."

The Djinn bowed. "At once, mistress," he said, disappearing again.

'Hild will be most pleased with my work,' she thought. 'And I really need all the praise I can get after the recent failures against the goddesses.'

Mara's plans for Senbei's battery were working above the expectations at the moment. She didn't know why Hild was personally interested or what the Daima-Kacho was planning, but she was sure it involved the Norns. Her recent defeat at their hands was a sore point for her, especially because her own daughter was involved.

She opened her link with the children of her first group. She was curious to know how they were making Senbei sweat to cover them all. If they could charge the battery so quickly, it must be something really notable.

Wishes were all about the proper compensation, at least for demons. The gods may reserve them for those they believe to deserve their graces, but Mara would make sure that the poor fools she granted their wishes would reward her most magnificently.

* * *

Author's notes:

Finally! Chapter 4 is here. I must apologize for the long delay. A new job, a long commute and a computer crash that ate all the work I've done on chapter 5 kept my muse at bay. I can only hope I can go back to writing regularly.

And to answer some of my reviewers,

Captain Tsubasa, yes, I'm pro-Akane. And while we are at it, feel free to classify me as a pro-Ranma, pro-Ukyou, pro-Mousse, pro-Shampoo and a pro-Ryouga, too. I like to work with the personages, and I have a strong dislike for gratuitous character bashing, at least for the six above. That being said, those with a pathological need to see Akane suffering will probably enjoy next chapter... while those with a quite healthy interest in some Shampoo action will have to wait a little longer.

Dogbertcarrol, yes, the results were randomly draw. One of the difficulties I found while choosing was that pretty much anything worked fine, on one degree or another. Like Ukyou's hatred for Genma - Ranma and Akane were obvious picks, but Shampoo seeing him as an obstacle (we all know how an amazon loves a good obstacle), or Ryouga thinking everything is Genma's fault (afterall, he took Ranma away from the duel place and dragged the boy to Jusenkyou) or even Mousse seeing the elder Saotome as a hidrance in his quest for Shampoo's love (ok, that would take some work, but it was doable) was pretty good, too. The best thing that came from it was the way problems were linked, for the most part. I hadn't considered the possibility before, and I'm enjoying it pretty much now.

Please review my story, it is greatly appreciated.

By Fangorn (1-III-2004)

fangornffterra.com.br


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